If You Ever Came Back
by Harrytoad
Summary: Definitely AU: Kind of Season 5, but no Dawn, Riley or Glory. Joyce has already died. Faith is needed by Buffy to train a new slayer but her arrival causes the blonde to reassess her true feelings for her former friend.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Buffy patrolled the cemetery every night. She had done so willingly since enrolling in college. Anything to keep her mind occupied. She'd impressed Giles anyway. The British Watcher was very taken with the 'all new focused Slayer'. But in truth, she'd always been pretty controlled about the job.

She sat waiting next to a newly dug grave, a gloom hanging over her. Loneliness was a funny thing. Her relationship with Angel had filled her with emptiness. I mean, let's be real, an un-dead vampire and a slayer in a relationship? Wasn't really going to work long term. Deep down Buffy had always known that. After he returned from the hell dimension it was so different between them. Closure almost. Her life became about slaying and school.

But it had also become about Faith.

Faith had breezed into town like a whirlwind, tearing up Sunnydale with her unorthodox behaviour and attitude. She'd enjoyed the job, relished in her reputation and had generally been as different to Buffy as she could be. Yin and yang; dark and light; good and evil. It was the fascination with those differences that had first sparked her interest in the dark slayer. Somehow they were more connected than any other pair on earth. Both chosen, but co-existing when nature had never intended that to happen.

Buffy had welcomed her into her world, introduced her to her friends and had her over to her home for a family meal, all because she needed to be closer to Faith. To feel that connection. Then it had all gone wrong.

Faith killed a man and then the darkness had seeped in. The Mayor offered her a home, security and an almost parental role to a girl who'd had nothing. She embraced evil and pushed everything else away, but Buffy knew she had pushed also. A dagger thrust deep into the brunette had sealed their relationship. She would never forget the hand pressed on her own as the blood spilled between them. Or the smile that crept over those full lips, her brown eyes staring up into her own, as Faith drew her last breath.

Willow had managed to bring her back to life. She then called an ambulance that rushed her away into the night, sirens and lights, flashes of blue in the rain. The next day all hell broke out at the school. Literally! The Mayor was stopped, the school destroyed, another chapter closed.

Faith had checked herself out of hospital by the time Buffy had found the nerve to visit her. Willow and Tara developed a locator spell a few weeks later and were shocked to discover that she was in a mental institution. More digging revealed that she had checked herself in several days after leaving Sunnydale. She was alone, again. That's how it was between them now.

The night was getting colder. A chill hung in the air. Buffy shivered, her mood was no better for her late night musings. Not even kicking the risen vampire's ass had helped.

She took the long way home, hoping to release the pent up energy that burned in her veins. This was becoming a regular habit. She was in a world of her own, her feet taking her to the destination she had been seeking out night after night for weeks now.

The motel sign came into view, some twenty minutes later. She stopped and waited, watching, her back pressing against a stone archway across from the run down building. A light went out and the blonde slayer crept further into the shadows. A dark figure emerged and lit up a cigarette. Stubbing the match under her steel-toed boot, she glanced around and then strode off towards town.

Buffy watched her leave and then continued home in the opposite direction, her mind swimming as always.

…**..**

The loud ringing of a phone is a cruel awakening for a slayer who hasn't slept that well.

Buffy groaned, and cursing made her way downstairs.

"Hello." She said into the receiver in a non-than welcoming way.

"Good morning Buffy. I didn't wake you did I? I mean it is after eight."

"No Giles. I always wake bright and breezy you know that." She answered in an equally pissed off manner.

"Well, right...sorry. I presume one did not sleep so well then?"

"No, not so good. What with vamps and college Giles, I'm pretty beat."

"Well I might have a solution to that Buffy."

"Well for once, I'm all ears." She replied, her mood improving slightly.

"I mean it's not a quick fix, but I do believe that if the time is invested then this will be really rather wonderful."

"So, deal already."

"Oh...yes, well, I think it's better said in person. Can you come over?"

"To yours or the Magic Box?"

"Mine will do as I'm already here."

"Give me an hour, maybe two...you know, to wake up and be less grouchy?" Buffy smiled.

"Yes of course. Oh, and Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"Bring an open mind."

With that Giles hung up.

Buffy was left rather confused, but then her watcher often left her that way. She put it down to the fact he was British. That answer seemed to cover most things.

…**..**

She managed to get ready quicker than she'd imagined, so found herself at Giles's an hour later. The big wooden door swung open quickly and a grinning face met hers. Buffy took a step back as a very confused look passed across her face.

"Hi. You must be Buffy. I'm Renee. I'm so pleased to meet you." The girl grabbed the slayer and hugged her, hard!

"Giles!" Buffy yelled; her arms pinned by her sides by an unknown child.

The Watcher stepped into the doorway, a mug of steaming hot coffee in his hand. "Morning. Well, I see you have met Renee. Good. Come on. Let's all go inside."

Renee released the blonde slayer, grinned and almost skipped past Giles into the lounge. After a moment Buffy joined them, still confused.

"Tea? Coffee?" Giles called from the kitchen, as Buffy sat trying to avoid the obvious stare of the small stranger.

She seemed ok, the slayer mused. Whoever she was. The girl couldn't be more than fifteen. She was pretty for her age. Shoulder length dark hair and deep brown eyes. She was lean but strong. That hug had left her breathless. She certainly had bags of energy and just loved to stare!

"Buffy?" Giles shouted again.

"Coffee. Black and sweet, as is the way at this time of the morning."

"Do you not like mornings? I do. Love them. In fact I love any time of the day really. Which do you like best?" Renee asked at high speed.

"Er, I can't say I've ever really thought about it."

"Oh. Right. Sorry, I ramble a bit when I'm excited. And I'm SO excited to meet you."

"Thanks?" Buffy replied, looking towards the kitchen hopefully.

"Here you go." Said Giles handing her the drink. She smiled up at him, relieved but waiting for answers.

"Well, you've both met." He cheerily stated. "Good, good. Buffy, Renee will be with us for some time. She's actually here because she's been chosen."

Buffy stared vacantly.

"As in she's a slayer."

Silence.

"Are you listening?"

"How?"

"You must remember Buffy."

"Humour me."

"You were the slayer, then you died and came back and Kendra arrived. She died, didn't come back, but Faith came. She went bad, died, came back and now we have me!" The petite brunette said grinning.

"All coming back?" Said Giles.

"Thanks for the recap. I got it."

"Don't you just love his accent?" Renee piped up, smiling across at him.

"Really?" Buffy asked, surprised.

"Yeah, it's cute, don't you think?"

"No, and eughh!" She winced.

"Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to...to move this conversation on from...from my voice." Giles replied, blushing slightly.

"Please do." Buffy answered, grimmed out.

"So if there's like Buffy and Faith and me, then we're kinda like the three amigos or musketeers or something?" Renee continued excitedly.

"A favourable literary analysis, yes." Giles smiled.

"So where is she? Where's Faith? Can I meet her too?"

Buffy glanced over at her Watcher.

"In time...yes, well...things aren't so...I," He stammered.

"Yes, I hope you will Renee." The blonde slayer added.

"Hope?"

"Yes hope. Faith is...Faith and I don't...We..."

"You two are not good at the straight answer stuff are you?" Said Renee.

"It's just difficult." Buffy replied, smiling at her.

"But I'm here because she died."

"Yes you are, but that doesn't mean that Faith is best equipped to train you." Giles answered.

Buffy sat looking at Renee. She reminded her of the dark slayer, a younger version but with the same confidence. This thought warmed but broke her heart a little. She allowed herself to miss Faith for just a moment before she continued.

"Listen. I know all this is new to you. We're new to you. This life is...this job is hard. It's all you'll know. The time for being your own person, well it's pretty much over. I know this sounds tough, but you need to be aware that this calling is not a choice. It chose you. I can train you, support you, help you get stronger, but then you are on your own. It's not an easy lesson to learn."

Giles stared at Buffy, shocked at how hard she had sounded.

"Then I guess two slayers training me would be better than one." Renee said defiantly.

She was more like Faith than the blonde slayer had at first thought. This would not be an easy task.

"We'll manage, between Buffy and myself." Offered Giles. "Then there's Willow and Tara, two witches who are growing more powerful each day and…."

Buffy interrupted him.

"I will talk to Faith, Renee. But I can't promise you anything."

"Thank you. I just want to get started, meet everyone, you know?"

"I know."

Buffy got up, her Watcher following her to the door.

"Faith's here?" He asked bemused. "You didn't mention this before."

Buffy kept her voice low and even. "I saw her one night on the way back from the cemetery. She was coming out of some seedy looking motel downtown. I wouldn't have known, but I took a different route home." She added quickly.

"I see." Giles took off his glasses and started cleaning them with a handkerchief from his pocket. "Have you made contact? Do you know if she'd even be up to this?" He added.

"Honestly? I'm not sure. Seems like she spent some time working through some issues."

"Issues Buffy? She killed a man."

"Yes I know that Giles. But where were we? Any of us? We let her go and we lost her to the Mayor. Maybe we should have tried harder."

Giles smiled. "You might be right, yes. On reflection I do believe we all had a part to play in Faith's actions. I know Willow for one was always convinced that she would reform. She sees the good in everyone."

"Yes she does." Buffy smiled. "Listen Giles, I'll call you later. I assume you want Renee to stay with me, so I'll get a room ready."

"Buffy I...I know it's hard, it being...well your..."

"Mom's room? Yes I know. But nothing lasts forever does it?"

Without waiting for an answer she left, making purposeful strides towards the edge of town. Her heart pounded with each step as she made her way to see the one person that could help. The one person she'd avoided for too long, the other side of herself.

…**..**

Opening up her home to a stranger was going to be hard, Buffy mused on her walk though town. Opening up her Mom's room would be tougher. Willow and Tara had been great. They officially moved in, although they'd practically lived there anyway since school had ended. She needed the company.

It had taken a long time for Buffy to accept that her home would be forever changed, but was relieved to have kept it. The landlord had sold up to a new buyer, just days after the funeral, but was happy to have tenants. She couldn't have bore the idea of losing her home too. The rent was much lower, which was great as money was tight. There was always something to worry about and manage. At least she didn't have to do it alone. Her friends had been her rock, her sanctuary. She knew she was lucky. Not everyone has someone.

It shocked Buffy how different the motel looked in the daylight. It was even more run down than she'd thought. Why anyone would choose to stay there was beyond her. The area smelt of car fumes, cigarettes, liquor and dirt. Grime seemed to cling to every building and vehicle in the vicinity.

Buffy had heard from Angel that Faith had inherited money from the Mayor. Substantial legitimate funds he'd put aside for her should anything happen to him. Maybe guilt stopped her using it. Either way, this was no place to live.

She approached the dark slayers room, avoiding the trail of litter and what appeared to be overflowing drains. Taking a deep breath, Buffy focused, trying to suppress the urge to turn and run. She could have sworn her heart stopped for a beat or two as her knuckles came in contact with door. She knocked loudly. A few moments passed, and she swallowed hard, her mouth going dry. "Focus Buffy, focus." She said to herself. "You need her onboard."

She was about to try again, when she heard footsteps approaching.

"Who the hell is it? It's not even lunch time!" Faith flung the door open. Her hair was wet and wild. Buffy suspected she'd disturbed her shower. Other than shorts and a t-shirt, the dark slayer wore nothing else than a pissed off expression.

They stared at each other. Buffy knew she should say something. After all she was the one who wanted help and had come to visit. It was only polite, but her mouth wouldn't work. Too many memories were flooding her head. All those times they'd laughed together, slayed together. Months of not seeing Faith had made Buffy empty. She'd lost her, and seeing her again made her realise it.

"B." Faith said, breaking the silence. "To what do I owe the honour?" She continued, leaning on the doorframe, arms folded, her tone surprised but strong. Regaining her control, Buffy stared into the dark eyes that held her gaze, before walking past her and into the room. Slamming the door, Faith rounded on her.

"Come in, please." She said sarcastically.

"Thanks." Buffy said turning to face her. She crossed her arms across her tan leather jacket to make herself feel more secure.

"So, what can I do for ya B?" She asked flatly, opening her mini bar and cracking open a bottle of Bud.

"Little early isn't it Faith?" She questioned.

"Well I got in a little late, so I guess it's all relative." She replied taking a swig of beer, her eyes never leaving Buffy's.

"I need your help." She stated, keeping any emotion out of her voice.

"I see."

Those dark eyes were getting too heavy to meet. Buffy looked down at the bed and moved a few of Faith's clothes to one side so she could sit.

The room was dark, with just the light from the dirty glass window trying to shine through. The TV was on low, the picture quality fuzzy. There were trousers and t-shirts on the floor like they'd just been stepped out of. Cartons of takeout food lay on the sideboard along with what looked like underwear. Buffy wondered if they were even Faith's.

The dark slayers voice broke her thoughts.

"What type of help would you require? I mean you got the scoobs and the G-man right? I'm sure you got it all boxed up." She said, leaning against the brown painted wall opposite Buffy, drinking her beer.

"You died Faith." She said solemnly.

"Woh there slayer! Halt the presses! No. Wait...think that's already happened. Think you should know that being as it was you that knifed me."

"Yes I know." Buffy shot back, guilt ringing in her ears. How Faith could be so calm after all this time, after everything. She could feel her frustration rising.

"So?"

She tried again. "So there's another slayer. She needs to be trained. So we thought…."

"Hold on there." Faith said, slamming her bottle down. "I die. A new slayer comes to Sunny D and I'm the last to hear about it? Is that right?"

"Pretty much." Buffy responded, feeling her hard exterior pushing through, but wishing it wouldn't.

"Nothing changes does it?" Faith said, a half smile dancing across her face. She finished her bottle and reached for another. "I mean, it was always you wasn't it B? The perfect slayer. I was fun to have around for a while, until I got too difficult, until I got in your way, until I threatened to upset your perfect little life!"

"Until you got out of control and killed someone!" Buffy's words flew out fast and hard.

The dark slayer stared back, anger and pain flashed in her eyes. "Yeah, until Faith fucked up. Guess perfect little Buffy saw that coming. Saw it coming and thought to herself, 'This'll be fun to watch, pout about and then do fuck all about!'" She said angrily.

"Blame me all you want if it makes you feel better. I really don't care either way." She flew back, regretting it immediately.

"No B. I guess you never did." Faith smiled, her eyebrow raised. She took a long swig of beer before resting her head back on the wall.

Buffy watched her knowing her words were lies. She did care. She always had, but something had stopped her helping the brunette when she had fallen, when she'd turned evil.

"Faith I...Look. I'm not here to dredge up the past. I just thought we could…."

"Move on, train a slayer together, be all smiles and giggles round the kid and then you dump me off each night? Sounds like a ticket I ain't gonna buy." She interrupted, still drinking, her head pounding.

"She needs you, ok? So no, it's not going to be like that."

Faith finished her bud and slung the empty bottle into a plastic white bin by the door. How long was she going to keep this up? How long would she continue to fight Buffy? To keep herself isolated. She looked down at her feet, her head shaking. She knew the answer to her questions. The only person who ever truly mattered had abandoned her. She'd lost everything, and it still destroyed her every day. And now here she was, asking for help.

"Please Faith." Buffy said softly, trying to regain eye contact.

"It's not that easy for me B." She replied, refusing to meet her eyes. Scared that the blonde slayer would see her pain; see the rejection that she had forced her to live with.

"Renee is...I think you'd like her. I do. She's...she's a lot like...well, you."

Faith looked up slowly and met beautiful green eyes. Those eyes had haunted her since they'd met. She'd always been so amazed that they could show such compassion and yet so much control. They used to look at her with amusement, with warmth, sometimes with pride. Then those eyes had given her nothing but emptiness, disappointment, and indifference.

"Like me, huh?" She half smiled.

"Yes. Like you."

"How so?" she continued, wanting Buffy to remind her of all things she had once seen in her.

"She's...well, she looks a little like you." She started.

"Really?" Faith mused.

"Yes. She's got dark hair, dark eyes. She's lean and…."

"I ain't really lean B." She replied.

"Well she's only fifteen. And you're more...you're more, well toned...you know and er, well...muscular I guess." Buffy stammered, finding herself looking at the dark slayers body.

Faith smiled, registering the attention she was getting. Remembering that the blonde only babbled when she was put on the spot, or when she was uncomfortable. "And?"

"Sorry?" Buffy replied quickly, her eyes regaining their gaze with Faith's.

"What else is it about her?" She said teasingly.

"Erm, well she's…." She cleared her throat, giving herself a moment to focus. "She's strong. She's bold and a bit brash. She embarrasses Giles. She's cocky, confident, defiant."

"Sounds like me." Faith said, still smiling a little.

"Yes it does." Buffy stared into her dark eyes and saw what she had missed for so long. The reason she had made so many detours to this part of town. Her heart began to ache. She had to make this right. "Come back with me."

"Sorry?" Faith asked, not really recognising what she was being asked.

"Come back with me."

"Right." She responded, moving back towards the mini-bar and grabbing another beer. That had not been the answer Buffy had wanted to hear.

"To...to train Renee. We need you." Buffy said softly, smiling, trying to connect with those deep brown eyes. "We need you Faith. I need you."

Faith froze, her back to Buffy's. She put the bottle down slowly, her hand gripping it tightly as she closed the door with her foot. She sighed deeply, her eyes closed.

"What do you want me to do?"

Buffy's voice was soft.

"Help me. Just...just help me. Train her. Be there, you know? I need you to be around, spend time with her, to move in with me…her." She added quickly.

Faith turned around slowly, meeting Buffy's stare. Knowing she was waiting for an answer. "I can't just…." She swallowed. "Can't just pretend that everything's five by five, when it's far from it."

"It will be different. Faith, I promise you it will."

The dark slayer smiled wryly.

"Don't promise me anything B. It doesn't work, remember?"

She did remember. After Faith had killed Allan Finch, Buffy had promised to help her, to protect her, but she had failed. She'd turned her back and walked away. Why should she believe her now? "I'm sorry. I...you're right, I know that. But please help me train her. She needs your input too. She wants to meet you." She added brightly.

Faith sighed, and popped the top off her beer. After taking a long drink she looked back at Buffy. "Ok, I'm in; for the kid, but I'm not moving in."

"Can I ask why?"

"I just like my space you know. Besides, I'm a lousy house guest."

"Are you sure it's not because you love the low down dirty vibe of this motel Faith?" She said, raising an eyebrow.

"I just lurve the dirty!"

Buffy grinned, and blushed slightly from the innuendo. "Please move me." She added seriously. "You'll be there for Renee properly then. You'll be a part of it all. You'll have space I promise."

They looked at each other, neither one saying a word. Buffy's anxiety was peaking again. She needed air to breathe again, and room to take this reunion in.

Faith broke the gaze, her eyes looking glassy. She coughed slightly, stumbling to speak. "I guess I could."

"You could?" She said, trying not to smile too much.

"Yeah, I could. What do you want me to do?" The dark slayer responded, consigned to her fate.

Buffy smiled, feeling relieved that she had managed to get her on side. She knew Renee would be pleased, but so was she. Maybe, just maybe they could get something back. She stood up and moved towards Faith. "Be at mine later, say three? Bring your things too. I'll settle you in at my place and then we'll introduce you to our protégée."

"Fine."

"And Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you've had enough, don't you?" She said, as she took the bottle from the brunette's hand and walked into the bathroom.

Faith was speechless as she watched her pour the Bud down the sink. Half of her wanted to kick her ass; the other was revelling in the blonde slayers obvious concern for her.

"I'll see myself out then." Buffy said, moving towards the door. Her demeanour was already re-focusing on the job, her exterior trying to hide her feelings.

Faith noticed the change. She'd seen it a hundred times before. Her anger began to rise. She was beginning to feel duped, frustrated at how she'd allowed herself to be mothered and manipulated again. Would she ever learn?

Buffy turned back and faced her. "Thank you."

"Whatever." Faith said coolly.

"This was...this is not about us." The blonde stated softly.

"No B. That's the thing. It never was." Faith replied. With one final look she closed the door, leaving Buffy in the morning sun.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:- Thanks for the reviews, PM's etc… Glad you're enjoying my first dip into the BTVS universe.**

Chapter 2

It was a scorching hot day as Faith drove through the streets in her Cadillac. It was the only thing she'd bought for herself with the fortune she'd been left. She couldn't bring herself to live in luxury when she had so much to make amends for. It just hadn't seemed right.

The Caddy had bought her some freedom. It didn't matter where she was going, she always felt alive when she was behind the wheel. Roof down, rock music blaring; just cruising the sights.

But this trip felt different.

Faith was nervous. She never let her nerves take control, but today her world was changing fast; as fast as she had ran to Richard Wilkins III; as fast as she had turned evil. It scared her.

She knew where Buffy lived. Sometimes she'd drive past in the early hours, sometimes alone, but usually when she'd picked someone up, just to feel some pain.

She swung the car onto the driveway and switched off the engine.

"I heard you from down the street." Buffy was waiting, flashing her a smile.

Faith leant back in the seat, removed her shades and looked up at her. "What can I say B? I love to drive."

Buffy stepped back as Faith got out of the car, dressed in black leather pants, biker boots and a green t-shirt. She grabbed her bag from the back seat.

"Do you need a hand with your stuff?"

"No I got it." The dark slayer said, smiling.

Buffy followed her to the house. "Is that it?"

"Is what it?"

"Your things; I mean, is that all you have?"

"I travel light."

Buffy realised how her words must have sounded, but chose to brush her remark under the carpet. "Come in, make yourself at home." She said smiling at Faith as they entered the lounge.

"Sure. Thanks." She responded, sounding awkward as she sat down.

This was not lost on Buffy. "I'll get you a drink. What do you fancy?"

"Something cold." Came the reply from the sofa.

"Ok."

She returned moments later with two glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice. Faith took the glass, staring at it for a second before she drank.

"Is it alright? I made it this morning." Buffy said, feeling her own anxiety re-surfacing.

"Yeah. It's great, it's just I thought that maybe you might have something, you know, a little stronger?"

The blonde slayer sat down next to her and smiled. "This is better for you Faith. You've already had several beers that I know of today. We've got a busy day ahead and it's already after three. Maybe later, ok?"

"You're not my mother for gods sake." She shot at her angrily.

Buffy looked away, turning her glass in her hands. Faith bit her lip as she saw the tears forming in the blonde's eyes. "Buffy. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about your Mom. I...I should have called or something but I didn't know whether I would be welcome. Didn't want to make it worse for you. She was an amazing woman B. You...you're a lot like her, you know?"

"Thanks. That means a lot." She replied, wiping her eyes.

"Sorry for shouting back there. Not used to someone telling me what to do, or caring about what I do, you know."

"It's fine, really. I…" Her voice trailed off as she felt Faith's hand fall softly on her arm. "I…" She couldn't take her eyes off the thumb that was tenderly caressing her. Silence engulfed the space around her, except for the sound of her pulse in her ears. Her breath hitched, as she tried to speak again.

"I…I should show you your room." She eventually said, moving from the sofa and breaking the contact they had.

"Sure B, that'd be great." Faith smiled, grabbing her bag and following her into the kitchen.

"Er…It's not much but I've tried to make it homey for you." Buffy said as the two slayers made their way downstairs to the basement. "There's clean sheets and a new mattress on the bed; spare linen in the drawers. I've cleared out this half for you. Sorry for the remaining mess. We've got a lot in storage at the moment, what with Willow and Tara's stuff too."

Buffy walked round the room, gesturing as she continued. "I've left the weight training and boxing equipment down here for you. Thought you might like that. There's an empty wardrobe for your clothes and a stereo too, and...Oh, yeah...I've bought you some comics. Hope they're ok for you, I just remembered how you much you loved them." She blushed slightly.

Faith dropped her bag on the floor by the bed, standing by Buffy who was staring at the comics on the bedside table. "Thanks B, that's really thoughtful of you. They look great."

She leaned past the blonde, her arm brushing across her as she reached for them. Buffy's breathing had slowed at the faintest touch of Faith against her body again. What was happening to her?

"Catwoman. Cool. Gotta love that costume!" She grinned; breaking the moment that Buffy had found herself in.

"So you'll be...it's ok for you here?" She said, moving away.

"Yeah. It's great."

"Not too dark, you know and dirty?"

"Did you not see my hotel room?"

Buffy smiled. "Yeah, I saw it Faith, but clearly you didn't."

The dark slayer looked uncomfortable. "I won't take the piss B. I can be tidy, honest." She said gently. "I just couldn't really motivate myself, you know...before."

"It's ok. I'm not going to check up on you." She smiled.

"But that'd be no fun, now would it." Faith replied, grinning.

"Well I could always look in once in while, make a few comments to annoy you and then leave?" Buffy said enjoying the mild flirting she'd not experienced in a long time.

"Don't forget the pout B. Gotta love the pout!"

"I do not!" She responded, finding herself doing it anyway.

"There you go. You're so easy." The dark slayer continued to tease.

"I'm not easy."

"Well not in the biblical sense anyway." Faith winked.

Buffy went crimson. "No. No I'm not, I'm so not, and I'm..."

"All about the love? All about the relationship?"

"Yes, I, yes…."

"I'm just playing with you B. I meant you're so easy to wind up." She said nudging her lightly.

"I...I know that Faith."

The dark slayer winked and then started to unpack her bag.

Buffy noticed just how little Faith did in fact own. She counted (excluding the clothes worn) a pair of boots and some trainers, several piles of underwear (mainly black), three pairs of pants and a dozen tops. There was a make up bag, hair dryer, tongs, and the usual bathroom products you'd expect to see. There was nothing personal, except an old brown leather wallet.

Faith seemed to sense she was being watched. "Whatcha doing there?"

"I was...well I was just watching you unpack and you were right when you said you didn't have much stuff." She replied, feeling guilty for standing there.

"I don't lie B."

"No. I never said you did."

"I used to back then, when I...you know. But not now."

Buffy smiled, enjoying how open Faith was being with her. This made her curiosity prickle. "Why do you travel so light?"

"Less confusing. The less you have the clearer you can think. Not bogged down by possessions. And I don't...I just don't buy things is all." She looked away.

"Angel told me you had money; from the Major."

"So?"

"I guess I figured you'd have spent some. I remember you stayed at that motel for a while back when you first came to Sunnydale. I was just surprised to find you there today."

"No you weren't B?" Faith looked her in the eye.

"Sorry?"

"You weren't surprised to see me there."

"I don't know what you mean, I…." Buffy stammered, annoyed that the conversation was turning into another potential battle.

"You've been watching me. I know you have." The dark slayer turned away, and started to hang her clothes up. Buffy went white. How had Faith known? She couldn't have seen her. She'd been well hidden, taken precautions. Avoided her usual perfumes. How could she have known?

"In case you were wondering, I sensed you. Always have." Came the answer to her unspoken question.

"I...I'm..."

"It's ok. I never expected anything from you."

"Faith." Buffy almost whispered.

The younger slayer continued to busy herself. It was easier this way. "As I said, it's five by five. I knew you were there. I could have made a move. But I didn't. No harm done."

"I should have come to you." She said softly, emotions and guilt rising quickly.

"I knew you never would. I just got used to it, you know, after I'd died. I needed to heal anyway. Took me a long time."

"I'm so sorry Faith."

"Don't, ok?" She said meeting her eyes, her tone darkening. "Don't try to gloss this over. Too much has happened for that B, to us. Things have happened. Terrible things. Stuff you know, like hey, here's one, I tried to kill your dead boyfriend. People can't just get past that kinda thing, so it's cool, really."

"It was hard for me, yes. I'm not going to stand here and tell you it wasn't, but I could have done more. I could have been there for you."

"Yeah? 'Cos I made myself all accessible didn't I?" Faith looked away again, moving past Buffy to put her cosmetics on the top of the drawers.

"Maybe our slayer bond would have helped. Maybe…."

"Don't kid yourself, ok? You and me, well, we were never tight, were we? We had the whole slayer thing in common, sure, but that was it. You always made that quite clear." Faith's eyes were cold when Buffy's met them again. She saw the months of isolation and loneliness, the pain she had had to endure alone in that motel.

The blonde felt her eyes swelling with tears. Remembering the nights she had hid in the shadows waiting to catch a glimpse of her, just to know that she was ok, to see if she needed her. Taking a deep breath, she plunged in. "Nothing I say about the past can change it. I can't make it go away. I can't pretend that I didn't fail you. I know I did." Buffy took steps towards her as she continued.

"I watched you Faith, night after night. I wanted so much to see you...to tell you how sorry I was, that I wanted to help you. How patronising does that sound?" She looked away, ashamed at her own self-importance, but forced herself to carry on. "Sometimes I'd follow you to see where you spent your time. I…I saw you in that club downtown. You always had women round you. I told myself you were happy, that you were ok, because it salved my conscience for a bit. I hoped that you'd see me. I wanted you to know I was there for you."

Faith felt tightness in her chest at the thought of Buffy seeing her in that place, with all those different women. She chose to ignore that for now, surprised but happy at how much Buffy wanted to open up. "I knew B. I could feel you."

"How?"

"Maybe it's our connection, I don't know. I never saw you. I just knew where you were, could sense you, almost…smell you."

Buffy looked up at her. "Smell me?" She asked, very confused. "But I didn't wear anything, in case, you know, you could."

"Yeah, that would have been a give away." She said, half smiling. "I don't know B; I could just smell you. Your smell, the one you've always had."

The blonde slayer's senses tingled. _'The one I've always had?'_ She mused. Suddenly she felt very warm and aware of how close she was to Faith.

"I wanted you to knock on my door." The dark slayer's voice interrupted her thoughts, but the warmth did not leave her body. "I thought you were there to check up on me; to make sure I wasn't still evil." Her voice was full of sadness.

"That's why you didn't come to me? I mean to see if I was there." Buffy said, correcting herself, not understanding why she suddenly seemed incapable of stringing together a cohesive sentence.

"I guess so. But I thought you were simply biding your time. Thought you'd come to finish what you started."

Buffy's eyes wandered down Faith's body and rested on her stomach, seeing the scar she knew was there underneath her clothes. "I wouldn't have...I should never have done that." She replied shocked at the words she was hearing.

"I wanted...I...it doesn't matter." Faith stammered, turning away.

"Please? Please talk to me?" She asked softly, waiting for a response.

She sighed deeply. "I wanted you to kill me B. For so long I wished you had. Then I just prayed for you to come."

Buffy's breath caught in her chest. She put her hand on the younger girls shoulder, amazed at the strength that lay there, wondering why her fingertips burned.

Faith turned, releasing her touch, her brown eyes fighting back tears. "I went out each night hoping I'd see you. And when I started to sense you there, watching me I figured you were waiting. I even made it easy for you. Leaving the door unlocked, walking close to where you were hidden. If you had come to me B, I'd have got on my knees and begged you to kill me."

Buffy stared back at her, wanting so desperately to hold the younger girl in her arms. "I didn't know. I didn't know you felt like that." Was all she could manage to say.

"Not felt B. Feel. Nothing's changed, except I haven't begged you yet." Faith replied, forcing a smile to her lips, to lighten the mood. "But it's ok, right? I'm here, you're like talking to me, and we've got a slayer to train." She continued, stuffing her wallet into her back pocket.

Buffy felt light headed and sick. What had happened to Faith? She knew some of the facts, knew she'd had a bad childhood, but to be here, in this place, wanting to be dead. She took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry Faith. I wish…I wish so many things."

"I know you do B. It's cool, really. I've learnt how to deal." She said, picking up a comic. "What time we meeting the kid?" She added, settling herself on the bed to read.

"Five o'clock. Giles is bringing her over."

"Well I'll be ready." She answered.

Buffy smiled, a sadness growing in her heart. "Shout if you need anything ok? Unless of course you need something now, in which case I can get it for you. No bother, just tell me, and I'll go." She knew she was babbling, but just couldn't stop.

Faith winked at her again. "I'm ok for now B, but thanks. I know where you are."

"Right, well I'll just, leave you to it then." She replied, making her way to the wooden stairs. Half way up she turned, catching a glimpse of Faith watching her. She froze for a second before she forced her legs to carry her upstairs.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Five o'clock came round pretty quick for Buffy, but it had been hard. She'd spent the last few hours changing bedding in her Mum's old room, and boxing up her ornaments. Joyce's bedroom had remained untouched since her death seven months ago. Giles had respected Buffy's wishes in this area, not wanting to press her to move on until she was ready.

She wasn't ready. She knew that. But she had a job to do, and that was to focus on Renee and her training. A room of her own was vital for that development. Every slayer needed their own space to train, and just be. Buffy knew that all too well.

Once her task was completed she had sat on the bed and cried. Cried for her Mum, for all the memories of her and the ones she would never be able to have. On her way back downstairs the smell of coffee hit her. As she entered the kitchen she saw Faith at the back door handing some guy money, a cigarette between her lips.

"Thanks for the speedy delivery. C ya." She took a couple more drags and flicked the stub outside before closing the door. "Hey B." She said smiling.

"Not quit yet then?" Buffy asked.

"Tryin' to yeah. Just smoking less."

"That's good. It's a bad habit you know."

"That and drinking. What can I say? I love my vices." Faith retorted with a grin.

"What's all this?" Buffy quizzed, pointing at the numerous cartons on the table.

"Coffee's, juice, cakes and stuff, from that new place in town. Thought it would save time when everyone gets here. Didn't really know what everyone likes so I think I may have gone a bit mad."

"Mad is good. I love coffee." The blonde slayer replied grabbing a latte. "Thank you Faith. This is really thoughtful of you."

"No problem."

They held each other's stare, for what Buffy knew was longer than normal, until the doorbell went, breaking the moment. "Here we go."

"Yeah, here we go." Faith said, shifting her feet uneasily.

"It'll be ok."

"Hope so. Not seen the scoobs since...well, you know. Except Red and that was briefly, what with bringing me back to life and all." She quipped.

"It's been nearly nine months Faith. A lot has happened. People change."

"I guess."

Buffy smiled back at her, before walking briefly to the front door. Faith, still in the kitchen, perched herself on a stool and listened to the many voices that flooded the house, growing ever nearer. She was determined to make the effort, for Buffy and for the gang too. Truth be told she'd always wanted to be a part of them, one of them.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't our very own Rogue slayer."

"Xander." Faith coolly responded.

"Long time no see, has been a well, good time no see." He said scathingly.

She remained silent.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Come on Xander. We're all here for the same reason you know." Willow had entered behind him, laying a hand on his shoulder. She cautiously smiled over at Faith, a gesture that was not lost on her.

"Ooh, this must be Faith." Suddenly a crazy blonde was stroking her arms, and feeling her muscles with total abandon.

"Come away Anya." Xander almost spat.

"She's so strong. Looks stronger than…."

"She can hold her own alright." Buffy said, cutting in as she entered the room. Faith looked up and smiled across at her. "Why doesn't everyone take a seat in the lounge. Giles will be here shortly with Renee. Grab a coffee and something to eat." She continued.

Xander reached for a bag of cakes, emptying three onto a plate. "Yum. Sticky goodness." He said, taking a huge bite out of one of the muffins. "Tastes great!"

"Thank Faith. She's kindly catered for this afternoon's 'slayers convention'." Buffy answered.

Xander promptly put the plate down as he swallowed the last bit in his mouth. Before anything could be said Anya grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off to the sofa.

"Well thank you." Willow said, smiling at the dark slayer and grabbing a coffee.

"No problem." She replied.

"You haven't met Tara have you."? She stated.

"No."

"Baby. Come and meet Faith."

In walked a striking girl with blonde hair. She looked warm and friendly, and Faith found herself immediately at ease with her.

"Hi. Pleased to...meet you." Tara said, extending her hand.

"Hey." She replied, taking the hand in hers firmly.

"G...gosh. Strong hands."

"Sorry. Didn't mean to squeeze you too hard."

"No. Just I forget, you know, how strong you guys are." Tara took a step back next to Willow and interlocked her fingers with the Wican's, as she kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"Are you two smooching in there?" Anya cried from the lounge.

"How does she do that?" Willow asked.

"Think it's the ex-demon in her." Buffy responded.

"Ex?"

"Don't worry Faith. I'll fill you in with everything you've missed." She said smiling.

"I can just smell the excitement is all." Anya shouted again. "Call it a lust thing."

"Scary." Tara said, shivering.

"Very." Answered Faith.

There was a brief silence as everyone gathered coffee and cakes before making their way to the lounge. Faith took up the rear waiting to see where everyone else sat. When the doorbell went again, she was already there. Giles and a small brunette girl were stood on the pouch.

"Faith?" The young slayer asked.

"Yeah."

"I'm Renee. I'm so excited to meet you." She said, with a huge smile on her face.

Before she could extend her hand, the girl had her arms around her, squeezing her profusely.

"Hey, steady there kid." Faith said, loosening the grip.

"What? It's not like you're gonna break." Renee quipped back.

Faith grinned, staring down at her.

"Told you, you were alike." Buffy said laughing as she walked into the hall.

"Come through. There's coffee and cake in the kitchen."

"Great." Renee said, breezing past the slayers to find the food.

"Hello Giles." She continued.

"Buffy. Faith."

"Hey G-man."

The watcher seemed to dawdle in the doorway, before he half smiled over his glasses at the rogue slayer.

"Can we start now?" Anya called again from the lounge.

"Who invited her?" Giles whispered, chastising Buffy with his tone.

"Well, she is part of the gang now, and your shop assistant."

"Exactly. I don't want to see her after hours."

"I heard that." Came the voice again.

Giles sighed, raising his eyes to the heavens as he made his way through to the kitchen. The two slayers were now stood alone by the door.

"Ok?" Buffy asked, placing her hand lightly on Faith's arm.

"Five by five." She replied, trying to flash her best grin. She knew she'd failed, by the warm look in the blonde's eyes and the soft feel of her fingers pressing into her skin. The touch was reassuring, but also electric. Faith pulled away, unnerved by her body's response, putting it down to the situation in hand. Facing the gang after all this time, after what she'd done was one of the hardest things she'd had to do.

She perched on the arm of the sofa by Tara. The Wican looked up at her and smiled. Faith returned it with a look of gratitude in her eyes.

"Thanks for coming." Buffy started, looking round the room. "Giles wanted us here to meet Renee."

The young girl grinned, a mouthful of cake almost falling out.

"Yes. Thank you everyone for your time." The watcher interjected. "As you are all aware by now Renee is a slayer so she will need the time, attention and support of us all."

"Another slayer? I'm confused." Anya said.

"It's not really that difficult." Giles replied sternly.

"But a slayer has to die." She continued.

"And she did." Xander responded, looking at Faith. "She just didn't stay that way." Everyone looked across at the dark slayer expecting a response, verbal or otherwise. They didn't get one.

"Either get over it or leave." Buffy said, shooting a look of disgust at her friend. "I know you can't forgive her for betraying us Xander, but a lot has happened since then."

"And what reassurance do we all have that she won't go all 'evil' on us again? Not very inspired here Buff."

"You have my word." She answered firmly.

Willow broke the silence. "That's all we need. Everyone needs a second chance."

Faith smiled at her and then looked up to see Buffy watching her as Giles continued.

"Yes. Well said. We all need to move on. We must work together. Renee's training is our only priority at the moment."

"And I wanted Faith here." The young slayer piped up, staring Xander down.

Faith sat quietly through the rest of Giles conversation, and Buffy's interjections. Watching everyone interacting allowed her the privilege of re-learning about the people she had hurt. The people she had been willing to destroy at one point.

Renee fascinated her. The new girl really was ballsy, a younger version of herself. One who, however, had not faced the life she had, or turned evil of course. She would make sure she was there for her and be the positive influence she had never had as a kid.

Tara seemed really friendly and genuine. She'd always liked Red and was pleased that she was giving her a second chance. The witches seemed close, together. She made a mental note to ask so she didn't put her foot in it. After all, they were sharing a house now.

Giles was still Giles, British and proper. At least he was willing to involve her with Renee's training. Anya was just a crazy person, very quirky and cute. Any girl that loved to talk about or insinuate sex was ok with her. But Xander was still an issue. He had always been the most protective over the scoobs, and boy, had she tried to hurt them. Maybe that wound would never heal.

And then her gaze fell on Buffy.

Faith had always been amazed at the power she commanded from her friends. How much she believed in the job. How good she was at it. She inspired confidence and trust. No wonder her friends were faithful. Everything about her screamed control, it always had, but these past few months apart had clearly altered her. She seemed almost hollow, like the slaying had become the only thing in her life.

Suddenly she felt lots of eyes on her, Buffy's piercing green ones included. "Sorry?" She said, pretending that she'd just missed the last question.

"I asked if you were happy to take on Renee's boxing training?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, sure. No big." She responded, relieved her musings had not been rumbled.

"So to recap, Renee is staying here for the meanwhile, until we can get her trained. Willow, Tara, you are to ensure she has adequate time for home study. Faith you will be taking care of her fitness and Buffy her slaying techniques. Any questions?"

"What shall Xander and I do?" Anya asked, sulking a little."

"I...erm, well yes. I thought that maybe on your return from holiday you could show Renee Sunnydale. All the sights, the er...places of evil etc."

"Ok." Anya said, clapping her hands together.

"Gee, thanks Giles. Thrilling chores as always." Xander retorted, with his usual blend of hurt sarcasm.

"Well, you are both leaving tonight for a month." The watcher dryly replied.

"Guys, we'll review everything when you get back ok?" Buffy chipped in.

"Sure thing. Thanks Buff." Xander said.

She smiled across at him.

"Right, well...that seems about it for now. I'd better see to the Council. They're expecting a call. I presume you can handle everything from here?"

"Of course." Buffy replied.

"Good, good. Renee?"

"Yeah?"

"Buffy has my number if you need anything."

"Thanks. Don't miss me too much though!" She said grinning at him.

"Yes...no. Right. Well, I'd best be going. Goodbye everyone." He stammered slightly.

"Bye Giles." Came a chorus of voices.

"Well we'd best be off too. Gotta pack for our holiday in the sun." Xander said, beaming.

"Not too much though. We might not make it out of the room." Anya said, wrapping her leg across his, and licking his cheek.

"Ok. Remember what we talked about? About all the petting in public?" He responded, embarrassed.

"Yes, please remember." Willow implored.

"Oooh, but you're so sexy, and I want us to be all alone and all types of…."

"Right, we're leaving. Come on." He said, interrupting and grabbing Anya's hand tightly, pulling them up and towards the door.

"It's been really great. Have fun. See you when we get back. Good to meet you Renee. Adios, adieu. Bye." Xander rambled quickly, shutting the door behind them.

"Well that was…" Buffy said.

"Just wrong." Willow finished.

"Are they always that fresh?" Renee blatantly asked.

"Mostly, yes." Tara answered.

Silence descended for a moment as everyone watched the new slayer go to the kitchen and return with another cake.

"Well I guess I'll show you the house and your room." Buffy said.

"Cool." Renee grinned. "Can Faith come too?"

The dark slayer felt eyes on her again.

"Whatever, sure." She replied, standing.

"What are your plans tonight?" Buffy said to the Wican's.

"Well we have some college work to do and then a few new spells to try so…." Willow answered.

"Spells? Oh my god! Are you two, like witches then?" Renee said.

"Erm...yes, we are. Good ones though." Tara added.

"Excellent. Maybe...could I, well help, or I'll just sit and watch or something. I'll be good. Promise."

They looked up at Buffy for a green light. "If you don't get in the way and Willow and Tara really don't mind, then yes." She said smiling.

"We'll look after her." Tara said.

"How cool is this? Staying with two slayers AND two witches!" Renee said, beaming.

"That's sorted then. Come on. Let's show you your room."

Buffy made her way up the stairs with the new slayer close on her heels, bags in hand. Faith took up the rear, also carrying some luggage. When they got to the bedroom, she took a deep breath and pushed the door open, letting Renee run inside and break the spell this place had had on her for so many months.

"This is a great room. It already feels like home. I've never had a double bed. It's massive!" She said, throwing herself backwards on it.

Buffy just smiled, leaning against the doorframe.

"Look Faith. Come and see." She cried.

"Yeah. I can see it from here kid. You're real lucky." She replied, setting the bags just inside the doorway.

"I am. God, I'm so excited. Thanks so much Buffy."

"No problem." The blonde slayer answered softly.

Renee was up and off the bed, opening doors and looking around. "I've even got my own bathroom!" She howled with excitement. "Why didn't Willow and Tara snap this up for themselves. It's so big." She continued.

Buffy went mute. She could feel her mouth begin to dry and the tightness in her chest was getting worse, as she watched the energy and life flooding a room that had been so empty.

"Buffy?"

She knew she had to answer but her heart was full of tears for the mother and friend she had lost forever.

"They already lived here." Faith's voice replied, interjecting her thoughts.

"Oh right, so whose room was this?" Renee continued, re-directing her questioning.

"Look kid. This room belonged to an amazing lady, Joyce Summers, B's mom. She's...she's not been with us for several months now but she'll always be missed." She paused. "This place feels like home because of her warmth. So yeah, you're very lucky." Faith said smiling softly at the girl.

"I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say anything I shouldn't have. I'll look after everything I promise."

"We'll leave you too it then ok? I'll be downstairs if you need anything." Faith added.

"Sure. See you both later then."

A still silent Buffy moved down the landing as Faith closed the door. She pressed her back against the wall, trying to kick-start herself back to life.

"Hey, B." The dark slayer said, suddenly standing in front of her.

She looked up and met the soft brown eyes that were waiting for her to respond somehow. She couldn't though. She didn't have the words to explain how she felt. How could she?

She was aware she was crying. Faith reached out her fingers and lightly brushed a tear from Buffy's cheek. As she'd done so, her hand moved slowly behind her head and the blonde felt herself being pulled into a silent embrace. With her head resting on Faith's shoulder she felt strong arms around her, holding her tightly as she wept. Asking nothing from her, just giving her everything she needed.

Buffy stayed there for what felt like forever, enjoying the feeling of safety she had not experienced in so long. Relishing the soft touches on her back and in her hair as Faith held her. How could someone she had treated so badly show her this much selfless affection? She had never seen the tender side of the dark slayer, or at least she had never allowed herself to. But here, now, in her arms she felt a stirring deep inside.

Buffy nuzzled her face into Faith's neck, feeling the warmth and inhaling her scent. She smiled as her own body relaxed, her fingers starting to play with the dark, soft curls they had found. She let out a long deep sigh of contentment as her mind began to swim and her body started to hum an unfamiliar tune. Each touch on her skin was electric.

"You ok?" A soft husky voice said, so close to her ear it made her tingle. The strong arms still held her tightly.

"Yes." She barely managed to answer.

"Good." The dark slayer sighed back.

"Thank you Faith." She whispered.

"Anytime B." Came the gentle reply, like a breath against her.

Eventually Buffy forced herself to move, loosening the embrace and noticing how lonely she felt now she was no longer being held. "I'd better get on with college work." She said weakly, wanting to do anything but.

"Sure thing."

They held each other's stare.

"What will you do?" She asked, wishing she could ask Faith to stay with her. Just to sit with her or talk, or watch TV or anything, as long as she stayed.

"Don't know. Train, then maybe go for a drive." She said, smiling warmly.

"Right. Ok then." Buffy replied, walking the few steps to her own door. She turned as she opened it, noticing Faith watching her from the top of the stairs. "Will I see you later?" She asking, trying to keep the need from her voice and questioning this sudden desire to be close to her.

"Maybe." With that Faith disappeared out of sight.

Buffy stood stationary for a few moments, gathering her composure. Suddenly she felt empty again. Closing her bedroom door she laid on the bed. As she stared at the ceiling her mind started to race. It kept coming back to Faith, how she had made her feel so safe and how in her arms she had felt anything other than alone. Buffy sighed, her stomach lurching at the feelings welling up in the pit of it.

There was a storm coming.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Doing college work was far from easy for Buffy that evening. So much had happened in the last couple of days and it seemed to her that everything had changed. Try as she might to concentrate she kept finding her thoughts wandering. Her head was nearly as full as her house. After a final monumental effort she tied up her biology essay. It was far from her best work but it would have to do.

She wandered downstairs secretly hoping Faith would be around. She walked into the lounge and found Renee clearly enjoying Willow and Tara's company.

"Oooh, what does this one do Willow?" Renee held up a pink crystal on a cord rope.

"That's rose quartz. It has healing properties. It's very calming and soothing. Hey, you should SO have that!" Willow suggested, winking at Tara.

"Oooh, Oh! Can I? Really? Great! Thank you SO much. I love it!"

Avoiding being noticed, Buffy glanced out at the driveway. Faith's caddy was absent. She must have gone for that drive, she thought to herself, wishing she'd been invited along. It would have been more fun than the biology homework.

She headed for the kitchen and fixed herself a sandwich, more out of habit than the actual desire to eat. Taking it back upstairs she closed her bedroom door and put on some music. She needed a little quiet thinking time tonight. It had been hard, letting that room go. All the memories, the pain suddenly right there, as if it had happened yesterday. The only thing that had eased it at all had been Faith's arms around her, as confused as that had made her feel.

Buffy must have drifted off because at some point she woke to find the room in darkness. The remnants of her sandwich lay dried out on the plate beside her. She was thirsty. Getting up and taking the plate with her she headed downstairs to the kitchen. Glancing at the clock she was surprised to see it was already 2:15am. She took a mineral water from the fridge and headed back up to her room.

Peering through her curtains she noticed Faith's car still wasn't back. Where would she be until this hour? '_She said she might go for a drive, but not a cross country one.'_

Buffy was intrigued, worried and something else she couldn't place, that churned in her stomach.

She got out of her clothes and into her bed shorts and vest. Sliding under the covers she wondered what (or maybe whom) was making the dark slayer keep such late hours. Maybe a night at that club again? Her old haunt, with an old flame? She knew it was none of her business really, as long as it didn't interfere with Faith's duty toward Renee. That was her only concern. At least the only concern she was willing to admit too. But Buffy couldn't stop thinking about it.

She was still wondering at 3:00am when she heard the sound of Faith's car pulling quietly up to the house.

…**..**

The next morning Buffy awoke feeling a little less than refreshed. She headed straight for the shower, hoping it would help liven her up. Today was going to be the first full day of Slayer training for Renee. She wanted to be on top form, set the right example for their protégée.

She alternated the water between cool and warm, getting her blood pressure up and shocking her body awake. Once she was dressed she headed for the kitchen and poured some juice. No waffles today, not with all that ass-kicking ahead, just wholemeal toast and some grapefruit. She was just about to go up and call Renee when she spotted a note on the kitchen counter.

Hey B, up before ya. Thought you might need the extra shut-eye after yesterday so I've taken the kid to the Magic Box to get started. Hope that's ok? I fed her first, no waffles, of course! ;-)

F

Buffy smiled. Faith was obviously not letting her late night outings get in the way of her responsibilities. Self-control and focus were very important as a Slayer and Buffy wanted to make sure that Renee got that message. There was a time when she would have questioned whether Faith could help her to convey this. She was pleasantly surprised.

Buffy arrived at the Magic Box an hour later. Nobody was around. She walked toward the training room, hearing voices and laughter coming from it. She didn't go right in. Instead she peered through the crack in the doorway and watched the slayers together.

Faith had on her classic black training gear. The shorts and tank top left little to the imagination and she noticed herself looking at the dark slayer for longer than usual, before tearing her eyes away. Faith was sparring with Renee, demonstrating moves on the dummy and then getting Renee to try them out on her.

"Good kid, great move! You've nailed that one!"

Renee whooped in delight and high-fived Faith. Buffy was surprised to see the dark slayer being so nice with the girl, so at ease. She was really making an effort to make it fun for her. Renee was clearly having a blast, as well as picking up techniques. Buffy couldn't fault that last sideswipe block. They looked like they were really enjoying themselves.

"Morning. Looks like you two have been hard at it?"

"Hey B! Yeah, this kid is fast, she's picking it up real good."

"Fast and hungry Faith! You said if I got that last sequence down I could go get muffins from the health shop." Renee stated.

Buffy cut an enquiring look at Faith who was looking sheepish, her hands up in surrender.

"Hey, you gotta motivate people, and they are low-fat muffins. Plus I remember how much you like some low-fat action when you've worked up a sweat!" She said, raising her eyebrow suggestively.

Buffy blushed at the comment and silently took a ten-dollar bill out of her pants pocket. She handed it to Renee. "Make sure you pick up a yoghurt and raisin one for me. I have to warm up anyway."

The girl was gone in a flash.

The two slayers started to circle each other, Buffy suddenly aware of her own body feeling flushed already.

"Oh...So I'm just a warm up to you now B? My feelings are hurt." She pouted.

With that Faith lunged forward, almost knocking the blonde slayer aside, but the block came instinctively. Both slayers let fly with fast, slick combos. Buffy got the first blow in with a stinging kick to Faith's left side. She followed it up with the same kick to the other seconds later.

"Sloppy Faith. Should have seen that coming!"

"Ohhh, you are SO gonna pay for that!"

The kicks and punches reigned down again and again, this time Faith got the upper hand, wrong footing Buffy and slamming her over the vaulting horse, covering her body with hers from behind.

"You give up B? Whenever you're ready. Just tell me you give in."

Buffy could feel Faith's body pressed against hers, smell her perfume, and the whispered words in her ear that made her light headed. Her heart was thumping. She could barely breathe. What the hell was going on?

"Come on B, it's not that hard. Just admit that I won, it's all you have to do and I'll let you up." She continued, teasingly.

Buffy shook her head, clearing her senses. She summoned every ounce of her Slayer strength and heaved her weight backward, breaking Faith's grip and throwing her off.

Without looking at her, Buffy headed over to her water and towel, avoiding eye contact with the dark slayer.

"Keep practicing Faith, and you might just nail that move one day."

Faith began to wrap tape around her knuckles as she watched Buffy drinking and cooling down. It had been a long time since they'd trained together, done anything together and it brought back memories of a time before all the shit had happened between them. A time when things were good and there was promise. She had noticed too Buffy's heavy breathing and the flushed look on her face before she'd turned away. It wasn't the exercise. She'd hardly worked up a sweat. Dismissing those thoughts, Faith turned her attention to the punch bag and worked out hard.

…**..**

Riseview Cemetery came into view as Faith's caddy rolled up the hill. The half moon crept out from behind the clouds, casting its glow over the gravestones.

"It never fails to amaze me how different these places look at night compared to the day, don't you think?" Faith said, getting out the car.

"I know what you mean." Buffy replied, following her to the gate.

Faith pushed it open and the slayers entered making their way to a freshly dug grave.

Buffy leant against a tree watching Faith twirl her stake, perched on a nearby tomb. How could they be so different yet share so much? It seemed strange to have her back in her life but still feel so far removed. But the connection was there. She could feel it and it felt so much stronger than before. She sighed.

"Are you cold?"

The sound of the dark slayer's voice broke her thoughts as she met her gaze. "A little." She answered softly.

Faith jumped down and headed over to her, removing her jacket as she did so. "Here, put this on. It'll keep you warm." She said, holding it out for Buffy to slip into.

"What about you? Aren't you cold?"

"Nah, I'm fine. Please. Take it."

Buffy smiled and allowed herself to be wrapped in the cord and fleece coat. Inhaling, all she could smell was Faith. The musky perfume lingered on the fabric and seemed to invade her senses. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, feeling a mixture of calm and arousal.

"There you go."

Buffy's eyes flew open as she stepped away, suddenly terrified of her feelings.

"You ok? You seen something? Faith asked, turning quickly, stake at the ready.

"No...no, I...I just. Nothing. Thanks." She answered, at a loss of what to actually say.

"No problem B." The dark slayer replied, a warm smile on her lips.

They stood in silence for a while. Faith seemed content with that, but Buffy's emotions were raging. The smell of the slayer hung in the air and the warmth of her jacket felt so comforting. But these other feelings were different, new. Well, if she was honest, they weren't new, just stronger.

Before she could consider these new revelations, Faith had moved, stake in hand and was poised over the soil that had started to shift. First a hand, then an arm rose out of the grave, scrabbling for a hold. It found one. A shoulder, then a head emerged as the creature pulled it's lifeless body from the ground, shaking the dirt from what had been his finely pressed funeral suit.

The vampire looked up and grinned. "Well good evening ladies. If this isn't my lucky night." He said, flicking his tongue across his teeth.

"No you're right. This isn't your lucky night." Faith replied, as she sent her right fist flying into his face.

He reeled from the blow only briefly before returning it, sending the dark slayer backwards, onto the ground. As he advanced she brought her feet out kicking his out from under him as she got back up quickly to deliver a blow to his stomach and side with her boot.

"Sorry B. Didn't mean to exclude you. Feel free to join in." She said turning, flashing a grin at Buffy.

Before she could help however, the vamp had taken his opportunity. Lunging his body weight at the unsuspecting Faith, he grabbed her round the waist and kept running, throwing them both out of sight into a newly dug grave.

Buffy heard a low moan from below ground as they both hit the bottom. Moving on instinct alone she threw herself, stake in hand straight down on top of him, dusting him before he'd had time to react.

Buffy was panting softly, her hands pressed into the cold soil. Flicking her head up she suddenly became very aware of her surroundings; in a grave, in the moonlight, her body pressed firmly against Faith's, her face inches from hers. She'd never been more aware of her breathing. Not only that, she seemed incapable of moving. She closed her eyes, grateful for the darkness, masking her face.

"Er B?" Faith said after a short while, which felt like a lifetime to Buffy.

"Yes?" She tentatively answered, feeling breath on her cheek.

"Are ya gonna move anytime soon?"

"Oh yes. Sorry. I've got cramp I think, in my leg. From the fall." She lied quickly.

"Right, well maybe if I move slightly you could shake it out." Came the suggestion.

"Ok." She replied, her eyes still shut.

Faith moved her hands up resting one on Buffy's side and the other on her arm. She rolled her side-wards, inadvertently causing her leg to slip between the blonde's. The sudden sensation of this was not lost on Buffy and it caused her to do something she'd never done. She softly moaned out loud, biting her lip as she did so.

Faith felt her breath catch at the sound. She knew the effect she had on other women, but on Buffy Summers? It was something she had always pushed away, and now, after everything, surely this wasn't happening?

She brought her hand up slowly and cupped Buffy's face in it gently. "Hey B." She softly whispered.

It took the blonde slayer a moment to register and then to reassess the situation. Suddenly she was scrabbling to her feet, using Faith as leverage to stand.

"Well, that got him told anyway; two slayers for the price of one. We make a great team." She chirped, trying to sound breezy.

"We sure do." Faith replied, sitting up and dusting herself down, acutely aware of the change of mood and accepting it graciously.

Buffy scrambled over the edge and lowered her hand down to the brunette who grabbed it and hauled herself up and onto the grass.

"Guess we'll call that a night." She said, leading the way back to the caddy.

Faith stood for a moment and watched her leave. She looked beautiful in the moonlight. She'd always thought so. But those thoughts would stay where they belonged, locked in her heavy heart.

…**..**

Willow and Tara were cooking in the kitchen when the slayers arrived back earlier than expected.

"Hey Buffy, Faith." Tara cooed.

"Hi guys. Something smells nice." Buffy answered smiling, grabbing a teaspoon.

"Hey." Faith added, as she headed down to her room.

"You both ok? Slaying went well then?" Willow asked.

"Yeah. One vamp. No problem." She said, tasting the bolognaise. "Mmm, that's good."

"You or Faith?"

"Sorry?"

"Who dusted the critter?" Willow quizzed.

"Oh, well me, but Faith had got him tired out."

"Team efforts are always the best." Tara added.

"Yeah. We're good together."

"We sure are B." Faith added from behind her.

At the sudden sound of her voice, Buffy looked up and met Tara's eyes. She felt herself blush knowing this had not gone unnoticed by the Wican.

"It'll be ready in about ten minutes if you want to get washed up or whatever. Renee is eating with Giles tonight." Willow said, oblivious to the moment.

"I'll set the table then." Faith replied, getting cutlery out.

"Sure. I'll just get into something a little more comfortable."

The blonde slayer left the room before any innuendo was implied, and swiftly made her way up to her room. She changed quickly into a summer dress and sprayed a little perfume. After checking her hair she made her way back downstairs and into a conversation.

"For five months now." Willow was saying as she served up dinner.

"Still in the honeymoon period then I bet?" Faith asked.

"Well we're really happy yes." She replied, kissing Tara tenderly on the lips.

"And I reckon the sex is pretty hot." The slayer teased.

Both witches blushed.

"I, well...we...yes. Ok yes. It's…."

"Amazing." Tara simply added, smiling.

"Good for you." Faith stated, winking at them.

"This enough for you Buffy? I know how hungry you get after slaying." Willow asked, turning everyone's attention on her.

"Looks good." She replied, sitting at the table, aware of Faith's gaze on her.

Following the usual conversations, and several helpings of pasta, the girls made their way into the lounge, drinks in hand.

"So Faith, tell me about yourself. Where are you from originally?" Tara asked.

"Boston." Came the short response.

"I love Boston. My brother moved there. How long were you there?"

"Until I turned fourteen."

"Then you came here?"

"I did yes."

"What brought you to Sunnydale?" The Wican continued.

"Wasn't here. Just needed to leave Boston."

"So you came on you own?"

"Yes."

"Baby, maybe Faith doesn't want to talk about that." Willow said.

"Oh god. S…sorry. Didn't mean to upset you."

"Chill Red. It's ok. I won't answer if I don't want to."

Tara smiled. Buffy simply sat listening, taking in all the information she could about the woman she knew so little about.

"I moved on my own. Travelled a bit, mainly in California. Got a couple of bar jobs, got a couple of nights in jails. The usual. Trouble just follows me."

"Do you visit home?" Tara continued.

"No. Never will." Faith replied.

"Why?" Willow asked suddenly.

"Bit personal that Red." She said, looking at her glass.

"After what I said as well. Sorry."

"It's fine. Look, the short unemotional story is all I'll give you, as we're gonna be friends and all." She paused a while, taking a sip of her beer before continuing.

"My Dad left us when I was two. Mom was depressed for as long as I can remember. I don't know when she actually started drinking, but by the time I started high school she was never sober. She'd get…"

Faith stopped talking and sat staring at the drink in her hand. No one spoke. Buffy just let her eyes wander over the dark slayers face seeing yet another side to the girl who had so fascinated her since their first meeting. How could any mother not look after their child? Her Mom had been everything to her. No wonder Faith had seemed so different the couple of times she'd been invited for dinner. Her Mom had made her feel welcome.

"Anyway." Said Faith, her voice breaking the silence. "It was tough, but I got away. Anywhere is better than there."

"You are a survivor. I really admire you for that." Tara said smiling softly.

"Thanks." She replied, struggling to accept such a compliment, expecting nothing but sympathy or nothing at all. After all, these were Buffy's friends.

"I just get on with life now. After everything there, then coming here, meeting everyone and then fucking you all over I never thought I'd get this back. I never believed I could."

"I'm glad I got to meet you Faith. Really I am."

"Thank you Tara."

"I think you contribute a lot to this group." Willow added.

"Try to." She smiled.

"Trust is a difficult thing once someone close to you has broken it." Willow continued.

"Yeah. It is."

"Have you ever had someone special in your life Faith?" Tara asked.

Buffy felt her heart beat a bit faster in her chest as she anticipated the response. What did she want her to answer?

"Not really, no."

"Well maybe when you do he'll assure you that you can trust again."

"She."

"Right. I assumed so, but…well…you can't always tell for sure."

"That's cool. She'll definitely be a she, but that's all I know."

"Don't you date?" Continued the Wican.

"Wouldn't call what I do 'date', T, no." She said, with a wink.

"Oh. Oh right." Tara replied, blushing now.

"No harm. I'm just not what you'd call 'the commitment type'. Not after…everything and well the slaying thing just makes it worse. The whole 'hungry and horny' thing."

Suddenly all eyes were on Buffy, and she could sense everyone's need for a response.

"Well I always crave food, or a non-fat yoghurt. Anyone want another drink?" She said, getting up and heading back to the kitchen.

"I'd love another glass of wine." Shouted Willow.

"There's a great club across town, where some of my friends go." Tara continued.

"Paradiso? Yeah, I've been there a few times."

"Yes. That's the one."

Buffy returned with Willow's wine.

"I'm sure you'd meet someone nice there."

"Met a few nice girls there already actually." She grinned.

Both witches laughed, but Buffy remained silent, not knowing how to contribute to the conversation that was making her so uncomfortable.

"Anyone fancy watching movies tonight? I could put popcorn on?" Willow suggested excitedly, changing the subject.

"Sounds great." Tara answered, snuggling up closer.

"Buffy?" She continued. "You've been very quiet. Are you alright? What would you like to do tonight?"

"Movie night is good for me. Faith?" She answered, trying to sound casual.

"Sure. I might stop for one and then head out."

"Out?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah out. I like to drive at night."

"Now we know where!" Tara said cheekily.

Faith grinned and laughed aloud. "You're so funny T. And you two look soooo cute together." She cooed at them as she headed out the room to use the bathroom.

Once Faith had left the room, Willow turned to Buffy. "So what films do you fancy?"

"Sorry?"

"What do you want to watch to tonight?"

"Don't mind. I'll go along with the majority."

"Are you ok Buffy?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been so quiet." Tara softly added.

"Really I'm fine. Just not feeling tired tonight, is all."

"Ok, as long as you're sure." Willow replied, rubbing her arm.

"Yeah, I'm positive. Whatever you guys want to watch. Don't really know what Faith's into."

"What's that B?" Faith said, re-entering the lounge and sitting next to Buffy.

"Films. Just saying I wasn't sure what you were into."

"I like a good horror or action movie or something with two hot girls getting it on. I'm easy to please." She said bluntly, taking a sip of beer.

"Well we can cover all those." Grinned Willow; winking at Tara.

"Yes we can, although I do confess I enjoy a romantic comedy too." Tara replied.

"They're ok I guess. I would watch one, particularly if it was with the right girl." She said, smiling softly.

"Maybe she's out there Faith and you can both snuggle up and watch cute films together." Tara answered, dreamily.

"Oh baby, you're so romantic." Willow cooed, kissing her tenderly on the neck.

"Maybe." The dark slayer replied, looking away.

Willow noticed the sadness in Faith eyes, and gestured to Tara to choose the film.

"A romance it is then, if that's ok?"

"I'll give you a hand with the popcorn Red." Faith said, getting up to the kitchen.

"Thanks."

The two girls left, leaving Tara and Buffy sat across from each other. There was a strange and uncomfortable air in the room, neither one really knowing what to say.

"That film choice sound ok to you Buffy?" The Wican eventually asked.

"What?"

"The movie to watch, is that alright with you?" She asked again.

"Good for me, yeah." Came the nonchalant reply.

Again the awkward silence descended. Buffy was looking anywhere other than at Tara, who was desperately trying to reach her.

"I...I maybe out of line Buffy but I d...don't think you're ok. You seem a little distracted and quiet. Has something happened between you and Faith?" The witch asked, tentatively.

"No, I...No Tara. We've not fallen out. Everything's fine."

"Then have we done anything to make you feel awkward?"

"Course not. I guess I just feel a little out of it tonight." She said, shifting around on the sofa.

"Because of our topics of conversation?" Tara continued.

"Maybe, I don't know. Really Tara, I am ok. I'm pleased that Faith feels she can talk to you both, particularly you. She's not had that."

"No, she hasn't, but Buffy, she will talk to you. I think she probably already has or wants to. She really admires you, you know."

Buffy smiled and met the Wican's eyes for the first time. Tara returned the smile with a warm look of affection, before she continued.

"Whatever you sometimes think about a situation isn't always the truth. There is never one layer to anything. People never give you just that. Remember to look more than one way at every given problem, because I guarantee you'll find another answer. Probably the one you needed to know."

Buffy simply looked and listened, taking in words that sounded alien to her, yet so full of wisdom and truth. She certainly knew what Willow saw in Tara. She was one of life's most genuine people.

"Thank you." She said, softly.

"For what?" Faith said, crashing back into the lounge with bowls.

"I was just offering some advice for the English exam coming up." Tara said, with firm confidence.

Buffy was relieved for the excuse. She knew she was great at the 'one-liner' during slaying, but making up a complete lie to cover herself had never been her strong suit.

"Hey, great. Cheats always prosper." Faith replied, sitting back down next to her.

The evening went as planned. The popcorn got eaten and the alcohol consumed. Tara had stroked Willow's hair for the whole film, the redhead drifting off to sleep on her lap towards the end of it.

Buffy had been preoccupied with everything but the film, only reacting to it when laughter or comments came from the others. Truth be told she had simply spent most of the evening watching Faith out of the corner of her eye. Even though it was a two-seat sofa, Buffy was aware of the close proximity. The dark slayer was practically on her half, her thigh pressed against her knee. She'd not dared to move it. In fact the thought of Faith not being close was suddenly terrifying.

"What do you fancy next?" Tara whispered, as Willow came round.

"Don't really mind. Maybe Faith should pick one?" Buffy volunteered, hoping to continue the evening.

"Faith?"

"Whatever you guys want to watch. I reckon I'm gonna head out now anyway." She replied, getting up.

"Where are you off too? Bed?" Willow yawned.

"No Red. Just out. It's been really great though guys. Thanks." She said smiling and entering the kitchen.

Buffy heard the basement door open and Faith's boots on the steps.

"Where would she go at this hour?" Buffy asked, trying to sound casual.

"Probably a club or something. Dance off some of that 'Slayer energy'." Willow answered.

"Could be." Tara added.

Buffy sat silently while the two Wican's, put another film on and got comfortable, before heading to the kitchen herself.

"I'm gonna fix a sandwich." She said, closing the door behind her.

The basement door was still open and she could see light from the room below and hear Faith moving around. She sat and waited until the footsteps started back up the stairs.

"Hey B. What ya doing in here? Hasn't the movie started?" She said, putting on her jacket, the same one that the blonde slayer had worn earlier.

"Why are you going out?" Buffy asked flatly.

"I need to clear my head is all. You know how it is after slaying."

"I thought you wanted a night like this? I thought you were having a good time?" She continued, the soft strains of emotion starting to show.

"Hey. I did. I loved it. But now I need to go for a drive." Faith replied, heading for the door.

Buffy stood up and went after her. "Where will you go?" She said, her tone accusatory.

"Just out B. Chill ok? I'll be back. I don't see what the big deal is here."

"You're staying in my house Faith so I think the least you can do is be honest and tell me where you're going?" Buffy responded with cold anger, the sound of her voice shocking her.

The dark slayer paused, biting her tongue before replying.

"I respect that this is your home B and I am grateful for the room and hospitality but you are not my keeper. Out of respect to you, because you seem so desperate to know, I'll tell you. I'm going for a drive. Then I'll probably stop off at Paradiso across town for a dance and who knows what else. I'll be back after two because that's when they shut. I don't drink and drive so you won't have to worry about bailing me out. I'll be quiet letting myself in and I won't disturb anyone, ok?"

Buffy stood silent, taking in the harsh reality of the words, her emotions surging uncontrollably.

Faith turned the handle and stepped into the cool night air. Turning back she looked into the blonde slayers deep green eyes. She froze for a moment, confused by her sudden need to stay, but her stubbornness would not allow it. Buffy would not control her again, like she seemed to in their distant past. She belonged to no one. Instead she smiled, the softest, most sensitive warm smile she possessed before disappearing into the darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note:- Very sorry for the delay in updating. I hope you're all still with me!**

Chapter 5

The rest of the evening went slowly. Willow and Tara seemed so happy lying in one another's arms during the film, that Buffy felt even more alone. She made her excuses as the credits rolled, grabbed a bottle of water and headed off to her room. Turning on the bedside lamp she closed her door and stripped into her pyjamas. The feel of the soft duvet over her tired limbs felt blissful as she got into bed, grabbing a magazine off the nightstand.

Opening the glossy pages, Buffy tried desperately to fill her head with celebrity gossip to drown out the multitude of emotions running through her mind, but it simply would not work. Instead she grabbed her diary and started to write.

Don't know what to write. I can't seem to put into words how I feel. I just know that I am so confused by thoughts of…

She paused, chewing on her pen lid.

...Faith. She has me thinking about her all the time. My mind won't stop. Since she came here to stay. Since she talked to me and I saw the Faith I wanted her to be. No that seems wrong. The Faith I wanted her to be, for herself. Then the flirting, and the training, and the whole holding me thing and then the incident in the grave. God, I've never felt that safe since finding out I was a Slayer. No one, not even Angel could still my fear.

Buffy stopped writing and stared at the words on the page before continuing.

Angel. I miss him, yes, but as a friend. Did I love him? I'm not so sure. Now it feels that everything that happened last year, with Faith arriving, Angel leaving and then the whole Mayor episode that I just didn't have time to think. Then it all seemed to stop when Mom died and no one was here. I wanted someone to hold me. Angel did but it changed nothing. Then when Faith did I felt like I was going to be ok, that I could be strong and happy and secure. I wasn't afraid anymore.

She heard a car down the street and lights getting closer. Buffy turned the light off quickly and made her way to the window, peering through the curtains. Faith pulled up onto the drive seconds later. Turning the engine off she stepped out of the Caddy, shut the door and lit up a cigarette. She sat on the bonnet, seeming to gaze up at the stars as slow spirals of smoke circled the air.

Buffy just stood and watched utterly transfixed but seething underneath. Glancing away quickly she noticed the clock, nearly three in the morning. Had she too really been awake that long?

She looked back out at the dark slayer and watched as she stubbed out the last of her cigarette and hopped off the car. Then she looked up at the house. Actually, she

glanced straight up at Buffy's window for several moments before turning her attention away and entering the house.

Buffy's breathing had stopped. 'Surely Faith hasn't seen me? It's dark after all, and I was looking through the smallest gap. Shit!' She mused.

She crept back into bed, flicked her lamp back on and retrieved her diary.

She's back so late and I know now where she goes. She blatantly told me that, and yet here I am waiting up! Spying on her! What the hell is going on? I'm actually angry. No not angry. Fucking furious! After everything! After everything that has happened between us and she treats me like this. How can she make me feel so safe and so mad at her at the same time? This is so typical of her. I thought that it would be different. It feels so complicated and I can't help but wonder if this is all a game; if I'm the game. "Let's see how far Faith can push Buffy before she loses her mind?" game. God! And here I am waiting to be played! Well enough is enough. Tomorrow will be different. No more playing, no more wondering and no more games. I have to get a control of myself. I'm the slayer for god's sake! I have to act like it and stop these thoughts; these feelings she brings out in me.

B.

"Fuck!" She cursed out loud.

My name is Buffy, not B. Why did I just do that? Ok, enough.

Buffy

But even after the diary went in the drawer and the light was out, her thoughts were racing. And as her weary body drifted off to sleep it was imagining the same thing it had the night before, being held in those arms breathing in the scent of Faith.

…**..**

The next morning Buffy rose early. She had not slept well again, unable to rest because of her unquiet mind. Faith, Faith, Faith. That's all she could think about. Well, today she was going to get her focus back if it was the last thing she did. She would regain control by throwing herself into some hardcore training at the gym. Punch her way out of this new obsession; kick her way back to clarity.

After showering and eating breakfast she headed out. She chose to walk. Faith's car was right outside but she didn't want to ask her whether she could borrow it. That would involve talking to her. Seeing her. Right now she could not afford any further distraction. She needed the discipline of training, the chance to expend a _lot_ of pent up energy. She felt frustrated and couldn't nail down why.

When she arrived at the gym she was raring to go, like a ball of kinetic energy waiting to fly at any available target. She changed into her workout clothes in record time, not even bothering to check her appearance in the. She needed this, needed something, so badly.

She began her Tai Chi based warm up. Slow and graceful movements carefully performed to awaken her muscles, ensuring she would be ready for a serious workout. It took ten minutes because she forced herself to concentrate on nothing else; blocked everything and _everyone_ else out, began to breathe the movements. By the time she was done her body felt like molten steel, hard yet fluid.

She stared at the vaulting horse, almost allowing the memory of Faith pinning her to it to overwhelm her, but she regained focus and pushed it back down. She ran at it full stretch and when she reached it she somersaulted off the top with immense force landing a clear ten feet away. Next she turned her attention to the bench and began doing presses. One hundred went by in what seemed like a few seconds. She was totally in tune with her body. Her energy just grew and grew but she wanted more. Next she put on her gloves and headed for the punch-bag. She let fly with a barrage of combination assaults. Still she did not begin to tire. She could not expend this energy no matter how hard she tried.

Suddenly a voice broke into her private world.

"Hey B, ease up! The bag ain't fighting back! Are you goin' for some sort of record?" Faith stood before her, training gear on, ready to go. Suddenly Buffy was angry.

"Faith. Well, maybe I need a live opponent? But there just doesn't seem to be any ass worth kicking here today."

Faith cocked her head to one side and gave Buffy an enquiring look. "Did someone wake up on the wrong side of 'cheery' today? I think you have some anger issues there B."

That was all the provocation Buffy needed. She wanted to wipe that knowing grin off Faith's face. "Ok, let's go!" She shot back.

Faith took up a defensive stance, her face showing uncertainty at the mood in the room. Buffy opened with a series of kicks and punches designed to throw Faith's balance. Faith had not had the warm up or the workout Buffy had. She was sluggish compared to her aggressor. She only just managed to parry.

"What's up Faith? Did somebody wake up on the wrong side of 'competent' this morning? Late nights catching up with you?"

Before Faith could answer Buffy let fly again, really pounding at Faith's defence. The girl struggled to block and was breathing heavily. Buffy was relentless. She wanted to show Faith that she could keep her mind totally trained on the job in hand, that she could not be swayed.

Faith moved ever backwards while trying to keep Buffy at arms length. The blonde recognised retreat when she saw it and moved in for the kill. She struck two resounding shoulder punches at Faith and as the girl reeled and tried to regain her balance Buffy swung her legs out from under her with a sweeping kick. She hit the floor with a groan and Buffy was on top of her in a flash. She straddled Faith's shocked, prone body and pinned her arms above her head. Their faces were just inches apart.

Faith was breathing hard now. The fight had taken its toll on her, but the way she was looking at Buffy was unexpected. Her eyes were searching; trying to read her. She had a look on her face the older slayer had not seen before.

They stared at each other. The sound of their laboured breathing filled the room. Buffy could feel herself starting to burn. It wasn't with anger this time. As she stared down into Faith's beautiful dark eyes she felt she might drown in them and lose herself completely. As the fire raged through her body she somehow realised how long they had been in this position without saying a word. She was captivated, and it was obvious what it must have looked like to the dark slayer still pinned beneath her.

She released Faith's arms and got up quickly. Faith just lay there for a few seconds before starting to get up.

"I'm so sorry Faith, I got carried away. Too much work-out, got me all pumped up."

"Got you something, that's for sure." She smiled, looking flushed by her own reply.

Buffy glanced at Faith, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. _'Faith must have realised I was feeling something else?'_

She couldn't do this. She had to get away. She turned and walked briskly toward the changing rooms. "I have to leave. I have things to do."

…**..**

Buffy got home from the gym feeling very irritated. Or was it irritation? What was it that she had seen in Faith's eyes? A hunger? When she had pinned her down like that, it had been electrifying. Buffy had felt her body start to hum, and come alive. Every part of her that had been in contact with the dark slayer still tingled.

She made her way to the kitchen. Buffy could hear Faith's music coming from the basement. She'd made it back before her. Typical.

She felt hungry, like she did when she'd returned from slaying. She set about trying to assemble a sandwich but it was far from the simple task she'd anticipated. Every thought seemed to turn back to Faith.

It had come out of nowhere, this feeling of fascination. Ok, there'd always been something that Buffy had never been able to explain, but this? She knew she had seen something in Faith's eyes, but did it indicate that she was feeling the same? Buffy was filled with doubt. It was probably just Faith being Faith. She'd seen that on the few occasions they'd been at The Bronze, noticing how she'd responded to the attention she got on the dance floor. But things did feel different to her. Her thoughts and reactions were real.

"I'm attracted to Faith. There, I said it." It was only in her head, but it still felt terrifying.

She took her sandwiches through to the living room with trembling hands. What was that about? Having all these thoughts of Faith in her mind was having an actual physical effect on her body. It felt like an adrenaline release. Heart thumping, hands shaking, breathing laboured, and though she could hardly admit it to herself, she was far hornier than she was hungry.

She had to put the food aside; as there was no way she could eat feeling this way, so she retreated to her room_. 'Go to bed and turn off my head, that will do it. No more thoughts that made my heart pound in my chest.'_

Buffy showered quickly, reciting poems she learned in grade school, anything to keep her thoughts wandering. She put on her PJ's doing the same and slid into bed, turning off the light. She closed her eyes and hoped for the relief of sleep, but it would not come. She turned over on her back, her head swimming. She couldn't fight it. Even as a slayer she had no power over her mind.

She let out a deep sigh, as she allowed Faith into her imagination in a whole new way. The feeling left her breathless. Buffy's played the scene over again in her head; swiping her legs out from under Faith in the gym. Pinning her there, looking down into those beautiful dark eyes. It had made her instantly wet, she admitted to herself. She had let Faith up because she couldn't handle the feelings in her body; scared that her arousal would be obvious against the dark slayers skin.

It had been so overwhelming, suddenly seeing Faith in a different light and feeling turned on by her. Buffy had always noticed Faith's natural sex appeal but for the first time had allowed it to sweep over her like titanic waves breaking on a beach. The memory of it now made her inhale sharply. The feelings were starting again.

This time, instead of resisting, Buffy gave in to them. She pictured Faith's smile, that wicked raised eyebrow she would give when she was making fun of her. It sent a bolt of electricity through her body and straight to her groin. Her breathing was starting to get a little heavier.

Her mind started to let go, to give in to what she had been fighting all evening. She started to fantasize, imagining a different movie night, alone together.

_She pictured herself sitting on the sofa. The dark slayer walked in and crashed down next to her in her typical style. Buffy edged up slightly, Faith smiling that smile, loaded with promises of the forbidden, as she closed the space._

"_Why are you so nervous B? I'm only sitting next to you. I won't bite...unless you want me too."_

_Buffy swallowed hard, her cheeks reddening. She moved as if to get up but Faith took hold of her arm and pulled her back down._

"_Now don't be running out on me B, or I'll have to assume you're chicken-shit."_

Buffy sat back down. Faith's tone was not to be argued with. The slayers looked at each other for what felt like ages.

"_You know why you're so nervous B?"_

_Buffy shook her head. "No." She gasped._

_Faith smiled that predatory grin again, closing the gap further._

"_Then I'll tell you. You're nervous because you're scared I'm going to kiss you, and because you can't admit how much you want me too."_

_With that, Faith leaned in and took Buffy's lips with her own._ _The kiss was gentle and she did not try to pull away._

As Buffy imagined all this, she could feel the wild excitement coursing through her body. She throbbed at the thought of the dark slayer kissing her. Just the thought. Her hand wound it's way slowly down her body, under the waistband of her shorts.

She started to respond to the kiss, as Faith notched it up a level, whimpering aloud.

Buffy's hand slid further down, finding contact with what ached so desperately to be touched. She was incredibly wet.

As Faith took Buffy's mouth with a passionate depth she'd never felt before, she groaned into her mouth. Faith smiled inwardly. She knew exactly what she was doing to her. She let her fingers play down Buffy's chest, then onto her stomach as she kissed her harder. She slowly moved her hand down to Buffy's knee. As she trailed it back up, she snaked it inwards and up her inner thigh. As her hand came up between Buffy's legs she broke the kiss and stared into her deep green eyes.

Buffy was massaging her clit in a regular motion now, her breathing heavy. She felt like her whole body was on fire.

"_I think you're wet for me B, really, really wet for me."_

_Her breath was ragged as Faith rubbed at the sweet spot on the outside of her jeans._

"_Still can't admit it?" She continued. "No matter, I'll know soon enough."_

Faith went back in for the kiss, continuing to drive the girl mad with her hand. When she thought she'd teased her enough, she brought her fingers up and popped the top button of the blonde slayer's jeans. Buffy moaned loudly into Faith's mouth.

"_Shhh B. Just let it happen. You know you need this."_

_And with that she eased herself inside._

Buffy came hard and fast and with an intensity she had never felt in her life. Faith hadn't even had to touch her intimately in her fantasy to drive her over the edge in reality. It was unbelievable.

The blonde slayer bit her lip and smiled as she lay beneath the covers, her heart almost bursting. She couldn't believe how good that had felt, and it was all because of Faith.


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note:- Thought I'd treat you all to a faster update as a weekend gift. Enjoy and I hope you're all well out there. **

Chapter 6

The evening began like any other. The Witches had returned early and were enjoying a light dinner, Buffy had showered and was studying and Faith was laid in the dark listening to music on her ipod. Only Renee was bustling round like a ball of energy.

"Hey guys. Whatcha doin?" She asked breezing into the kitchen.

Tara looked up. "Just having a bite to eat. There's some left if you're hungry?" She said smiling.

"Sure!" Renee spooned some pasta onto a plate and slid herself next to Willow at the table. "So what you doin' later?" She asked, through a mouthful of food.

"Well The Bronze probably. It's been a while, so we thought we'd check out the band tonight." Answered Willow.

"Be g...good for Buffy too relax. She's been so busy lately. So distracted." Tara added.

"Great! What should I wear?" Renee chirped.

Willow smiled and turned to the young girl. "You're not old enough to come sweetie. You have to be eighteen. Or at least pass for it."

"Oh." Came the dejected reply.

"I tell you what…" She continued. "Why don't Tara and I set you some basic, non-house destructive spells and potions to learn? Then when we get in you can show us. How does that sound?"

Renee's face lit up. "Really? Ok! I'll be good I swear. Thanks!"

"Thanks for what?" Came a voice.

The girls turned to the doorway, and watched as Buffy made her way into the kitchen. She grabbed an apple from the bowl and leant against the counter.

"Well, Tara and I have set Renee here some homework for tonight so we can all kick back at the Bronze. What do you think?"

Buffy mused, taking a bite from the fruit. "Is it damaging to people or property?" She quizzed, raising a cunning eyebrow.

"D…definitely not." Exclaimed Tara.

"Sounds productive then." She answered, smiling.

"And you're coming to the Bronze Buffy? Please? I don't feel like I've seen you this past couple of weeks."

"I guess I could come for a bit, but I do have homework to finish and stuff to prepare for training and…"

"That's settled then; a night out. The four of us should have a great time." Willow grinned.

"Four?" Buffy asked.

"Well you are going to ask Faith aren't you? I mean I know she likes to do her own thing but she might enjoy The Bronze."

"It would be nice to have her along." Tara added.

"So you'll ask her then, while we get ready?"

"Sure." Buffy replied, starting to feel anxious. She'd not seen her since her thoughts had taken her over the edge. She felt embarrassed at the prospect, like Faith would know somehow.

The three girls made their way out of the kitchen after scraping the pots and left chatting about Renee's evening of Wican excitement. Buffy turned to the basement, paused and then knocked. She waited for a reply that never came before opening the door and making her way down the stairs and into the darkness.

Faith was lay on the bed, earphones in, singing along to the music that the blonde slayer could almost audibly hear due to the volume.

She stood and watched her from the shadows for several minutes, entranced by the husky voice and the small body movements she was making in beat to the songs.

"Whatcha doin' B?" The strong Bostonian drawl cut through the basement as soon as Buffy had took a step towards the bed.

Faith took her headphones off, opened her eyes and propped herself up on one arm, staring straight at her.

"I came to…" Buffy cleared her caught throat. " I came to invite you out tonight."

"On a date huh?" Faith grinned.

"To The Bronze with Willow and Tara."

"On a date with Willow and Tara? I'd be a filler in a Wican sandwich there B. Aren't you going?"

"Yes. It would be the four of us." Buffy shuffled her feet momentarily before realising she was acting like a child. She stopped and straightened up, looking the dark slayer in the eye.

"Ah. A double date! Now that sounds even better."

"It's just the four of us going out Faith to have a couple of drinks and a dance. There's a band on. It should be a good night but I appreciate that that sort of thing might not appeal to you so it's no big." Buffy turned and started to walk back up the stairs.

"I'd love to go with you B. Thanks for asking. Really."

She turned and looked back at Faith. Her reply and her expression confirmed that she was no longer teasing her. Her stomach flipped suddenly. She clasped her hand over it.

"Good. I'll let the girls know." She replied, as she quickly made her way out of the basement.

…**..**

An hour and a half later they were at The Bronze. The place was heaving. Obviously 'The Hyenas' had a following in Sunnydale but none of the girls had heard them play before. They hadn't been to the Bronze in quite a while.

Buffy had to admit it felt good to be back on her old stomping ground. She had so many memories linked to the place. Memories forged in happier times, when she had a curfew to adhere to. Her thoughts went to her Mom and for the first time she made a conscious effort to push them away. She wanted to kick back tonight, not dwell on her sadness. Faith's voice was a welcome distraction from her reverie.

"Ok ladies, I'm buying."

Willow and Tara both asked for wine coolers. Buffy raised eyebrows with her choice.

"Surprise me Faith. Some sort of rum cocktail, I think."

"That's my girl B, hardcore! Hey Red, come help me."

Buffy and Tara took seats at a table adjacent to the bar. Buffy watched Faith as she slinked away. She looked so good. Low slung fitted black jeans, her sexy boots and a revealing vest top. Classic Faith gear, but Buffy couldn't help but see it anew tonight. She could barely keep her eyes off her. This wasn't lost on Tara who saw far more than she let on most of the time. She smiled inwardly to herself and wondered how long Buffy had been crushing on Faith.

"She looks great, doesn't she Buffy? Faith, I mean. Not that Willow doesn't, I mean Willow always looks amazing and I didn't mean, I wasn't looking at Faith_ that_ way..."

Buffy laughed out loud, amused by Tara's back pedalling after paying Faith a deserved compliment. "They both look great Tara, as do you. Don't worry, I won't tell Wills you checked out Faith!"

Tara got even more flustered now, kicking herself for her poor attempt at getting Buffy to talk to her. She shouldn't have forgotten how locked down she could be. She rarely spoke to anyone other than Willow about her feelings and if Tara was right, this was a big thing. She decided to watch and learn for the rest of the evening and say nothing more, at least not to Buffy.

Faith and Willow returned from the bar with the drinks. Buffy picked hers up immediately and took a long drink from it.

"Thirsty Buffy?" Willow enquired, an amused expression on her face. It wasn't often Buffy drank or appeared to take such relish in it.

"Yes, actually Wills. This tastes amazing! What is it Faith?"

A wicked smile danced over Faith's lips as Buffy took another long drink. "That's a 'Twisted Bostonian' you have in your mouth B. Had a feeling you'd love the taste."

Buffy nearly choked. Tara slapped her back until the coughing fit subsided as Willow laughed at her friend being teased. Buffy had never been good with innuendo's.

Through her laughter Faith tried to alleviate Buffy's obvious embarrassment. "I'm sorry B, I'm just yanking your chain. No offence intended, ok? You know me and my inappropriate sense of humour."

Buffy managed a shy smile to let Faith know they were cool. Just then the band came on to wild applause and Faith decided to make an exit, allowing Buffy to settle.

"Ok ladies, I'm gonna take these feet to the dance floor where they can't end up in my mouth again."

The 'Hyenas' were seriously good, a blend of hardcore dance music and dark rock. Not an easy alliance but superbly balanced. By the time the second number had started Faith was really into it and dancing with a group of college kids. Buffy remembered all too well what a great dancer Faith was, from their days gone by. Watching her move tonight she could not deny the feelings she was having. She was transfixed.

Faith was in her own little world, feeling the music and turning heads all round. Every time a guy came up and tried to dance with her she'd turn away and blow him off. Like all she wanted to do was dance, not see or feel anyone else around her. Just lose herself in the moment.

Then something happened that woke Buffy from her hypnotic haze. A very hot young college girl headed over to Faith and got up close. Rather than brush her off, Faith started to respond. They were dancing very provocatively. Half the guys (and quite a lot of the girls too) couldn't stay in rhythm to the music; they were so caught up in the show that they were putting on. Buffy was watching open mouthed at Faith practically seduced the girl by undulating her hips into the blonde behind her, then taking her hands in her own to caress down her body. Suddenly Buffy wanted nothing more than to be that college girl. To have Faith dance like that for her. To watch that body in front of her and match it's rhythm, with the dark slayers hands on her body to guide her.

Tara leaned in toward Willow and whispered in her ear. "Baby, have you seen Buffy? She hasn't stopped watching Faith since she went to dance. I think she's really attracted to her."

Willow looked at Tara like she had two heads. "What? Honey, Buffy is not attracted to Faith, no way! I'd know. She's my best friend, so she'd have mentioned something."

"B…but she's practically salivating Willow. Look at her!"

Willow looked at her friend who sat staring out to the dance floor. From where she was sitting Buffy's gaze could have been directed anywhere. "I don't see it baby, really I don't. She's just caught up in her own world still."

Tara shrugged. "Whatever you say. I'm just not convinced. I know what I see."

They both turned their attention back to Faith. At that very moment her eyes locked on to Buffy. A seductive smile spread across her face and she raised a suggestive eyebrow. She gestured with her head, trying to get Buffy to join her on the dance floor. The two witches both looked at Buffy, who shook her head, "No" in answer. They turned back to Faith.

Faith danced over to Buffy, and stood directly in front of her, leaning in so she could whisper in her ear. "Come on B. You remember how we used to tear it up together out there?"

She straightened up and locked her eyes on Buffy's once more. She held out her hand and gave that killer eyebrow one last arch. That did it. Buffy held her breath as she took Faith's hand and followed her out onto the floor.

Tara turned to Willow with an, 'I told you so!' look on her face. Willow gave her a playful warning glare. "Ok, so maybe there is something in what you said earlier. But let's just see, ok?"

They turned their attention back to their two friends. Buffy looked like she was in another world, her attention one hundred percent focused on Faith. As they danced Faith was getting closer and deeper into Buffy's personal space and Buffy wasn't backing away. Her heart was racing and her stomach was flipping over with every move the brunette made. She knew she was aroused. She closed her eyes.

She felt Faith dance around behind her, place her hands on her hips and start to grind against her in time to the music. Buffy could barely breath. Opening her eyes she started to panic when she realised how many people were watching them.

She turned in the dark slayers arms to face her. "I have to get some air. Sorry." With that she released the grip on her body and made a fast exit, pushing her way through the crowd and out into the night, leaving Faith staring after her.

Willow glanced at Tara before heading out the door after Buffy. Her eyes adjusting to the darkness she headed after her. She found Buffy around the corner outside, sitting on a crate. She was crying, albeit quietly.

"Buffy? Hey Buffy, sweetie? What is it? What's the matter?" Willow crouched down in front of her placing her hands on the Slayer's knees.

Her enquiry elicited nothing more than sobs. She put her arms around the weeping girl and hugged her. She let her cry for a while before producing a handkerchief from her pocket. She handed it to Buffy who dabbed at her took her hand in her own.

"Buffy, I know you and I have had a lot of things lately that have kept us apart, but you do know I'm always here for you right?" She was rewarded with a tight squeeze. "You can tell me whatever it is, you know? That's what best friends are for."

"I'm fine Will, honestly. Just overtired I think. I haven't been sleeping too well this last week. It's been hard, you know, with Renee staying in Mom's room and all."

Willow gave Buffy a 'try and fly that one by me again, how dumb do you really think I am?' look.

Buffy knew Willow didn't believe her. She should have known better than to try and lie to her. "Look Willow, I'm just confused right now, ok? There's so much going on in my head! I'm not sleeping well, I feel overworked. Then there are all these feelings and I just don't know... Maybe it's just come up because I'm lonely... but I can't seem to push it back down. It's just I…" She swallowed. "It's just I'm so unsure what to say here, you know. This is all so new to me."

Tara had been right. "Take your time Buffy. Things always come out in the end. You know, sometimes stuff just creeps up on us from nowhere and then it's like…BAM! We have to deal, you know?"

"Yeah. It's crept up on me all right. This wasn't supposed to be my life."

"Maybe if you talk it would help put some of that stuff into boxes. It might help you be able to cope better."

Buffy looked across at her friend and smiled. "It's just hard Wills. Nothing is simple, not that it ever has been for me. I just feel so tired and so lost." She paused, tried to gauge a reaction. Willow softly smiled. "Faith coming back has altered things. So much has changed over the past year. Everything has become complicated and I don't trust myself to know what I should do now Wills. What do I do?"

"Maybe...Maybe nothing Buffy. Things have a way of working out for the best sometimes. Faith in the house, considering your past together must be taking it's toll and now with a new slayer too? No wonder you're tired. You'll do what you always do best Buffy."

"What's that?"

"You'll come out fighting. You'll find your way through this because you're you. I love you for that."

Buffy felt a tear fall on her cheek as she hugged her friend tightly, knowing her world was spinning out of control.

…**..**

Buffy had made her excuses and walked the journey back to her house, leaving the others to dance the night away. The fresh air felt great against her face, cooling her body down following the events at The Bronze. Walking usually cleared her head, but tonight was different. She was different. Faith dancing with her had totally seduced her senses. She was falling for her, fast and hard.

She shuddered at the acknowledgement. Never before had she experienced such an uncontrollable chemistry, a need to be touched and possessed. Angel had tried of course but their one night together had been memorable for all the wrong reasons.

No. Nothing compared to this, to Faith. So much had passed between them and their history was less than pretty. Buffy sighed wishing she could reverse time and make it better. She'd pushed the dark slayer away and feared that she would never let her close again. And now she wanted to be closer still.

Her house came into view just as the rain started to fall. A fine mist hung in the air. The street was quiet except for the sound of an owl in the distance. Buffy pushed the front door open, locking it behind her and made her way upstairs. Renee's door was shut and there was no light underneath. She seemed to be the only slayer that could sleep these days.

Walking down the landing to her room a scent started to permeate her nostrils. She breathed deeply, inhaling the musky smell that she knew to be Faith. Opening her door she stopped dead in her tracks. The dark slayer looked up at her from the window seat and smiled. Buffy slowly entered and pressed her back against the closed door for some support. She was far to shocked to be annoyed at having someone in her room.

Faith stood and walked over to the end of the bed so she was facing her. "I'm sorry for being in your room."

Buffy paused, her eyes transfixed on the brunette, her scent still in her system.

"I just wanted to talk to you. Willow said you'd gone. I drove back but didn't see you on the way."

"I fancied a walk." She replied, aware of her mouth going dry. She swallowed and licked her lips, noticing that Faith's eyes had dropped to watch her. Her breath caught at the possibility that the dark slayer was aroused, by her. She felt her body tingle.

"Right…yeah." Faith answered, tearing her eyes away from the blonde slayers mouth.

Silence; awkward yet electric. Buffy tucked her hands into her pockets to stop them from trembling. This was crazy. She needed to say something.

"Anyway, I should go, let you get some sleep."

She made her way closer to Buffy, but her eyes had turned away.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" The words came out before she could question why she was asking them.

"Sorry?"

"Well, you left the club early and then you're in my room, waiting for me. You must have a reason?"

"Yeah, I...Look sorry. I shoulda waited downstairs or something. I had no right being in your bedroom." She added heading to the door and closer to Buffy.

"That's not what I meant Faith. You must have wanted something?" Feeling the nerves rush through her body at all the possible answers that the dark slayer could say, but wanting something, anything to affirm her own feelings.

"I…" She sighed, and looked back up to meet Buffy's gaze.

"I thought I might have upset you, you know, or embarrassed you earlier…on the dance floor. I thought that might be why you left." She looked down at her boots, her body language less confident, almost anxious.

What should she say? 'Yes I left, because you touching me like that was driving me crazy? Because I wanted more?' "Sorry." Was all she could think to say without betraying herself.

"You have nothing to be sorry for B. I get...I get outta control at times. I'm not good at reading the signs you know? I'm the one who's sorry. I ruined your evening with your friends."

Buffy could see the pain on Faith's face, the awkwardness around her. She genuinely believed she'd crossed a line and upset her. She smiled, then cursed at herself for the action. She had smiled though because it meant that the brunette cared about her. After everything there was still hope of something. "Faith?" She said softly. "Look at me."

Slowly the deep brown eyes shifted and met her own. They were so beautiful. Deep and dark; but so warm and passionate. She could feel her heart beating quicker.

"You did nothing wrong. I just…" She swallowed. "I just don't know how to let go anymore. Actually I'm not sure I've ever known." She continued, half laughing. "I felt so…Oh, I don't know." She lied, so unsure what to say next. "You don't need to apologise for having a good time or being yourself Faith. It's sweet that you felt you needed to see me though." She added; flashing her a warm smile that she hoped would reassure her.

"I wanted to see you." Faith answered quickly, before looking away again. "To make sure things were ok, you know?"

"They are. Really."

"Great. Right, well, I'll leave you to it then." She said, her own awkwardness paralysing her.

Buffy was still pressed against the door as Faith's hand came into contact with the handle, her body almost against hers. Her heart missed a beat at the nearness, the musky scent stronger now. "Sure…yes. You must have things to do…Things…you know, that need doing." God, she was rambling again.

"Not really." Came the husky reply, her hand still on the door handle to leave.

Buffy could barely speak, yet alone move away from the door. It was like her whole body was being drawn magnetically towards the dark slayer. "Oh…" Was all she could manage to say, still motionless.

The silence was palpable as they stood next to each other. Faith's hand had returned to her side, her gesture of leaving removed.

Buffy was relieved that Faith's eyes were not fixed on her and that she looked equally nervous, but she doubted for the same reason. All she wanted to do was move the few inches it would take to be back in those arms, being held, touched, caressed, loved. She just wanted Faith to stay with her, just have time together away from the others, the training and the slaying. She paused, gathering her breath and her nerve.

"You…could stay?" She said, closing her eyes briefly, her heart pounding faster, fearing her words had betrayed her every emotion.

"I'd like that." Faith said softly, looking up at her.

Buffy smiled, and forced herself to move away from the door, casually busying herself by taking off her jacket and unzipping her boots, before propping herself up against the headboard of the bed. She returned her eyes to the younger woman who was stood watching her so intently that she had to stop a moan escaping her lips.

"We don't get time like this often, what with Giles' schedule." Buffy said, trying to keep the mood light and put Faith at ease.

"No, we don't." Slowly making her way back to the window.

"It's nice." The blonde slayer said, smiling over at her, wishing they were closer, wishing she didn't have a damn window seat at all. "Drink? Would you like a drink or something?" She added quickly, trying so hard to sound breezy.

"Sure thing. I'll go. You sit pretty." Faith said smiling at her before heading out of the room and down the stairs.

Buffy sat still in the quiet, her breathing shaky at best. 'Sit pretty'. She knew the real meaning but so hoped that Faith had said it because she found **her** pretty. Did she even see her like that at all? All this was happening so fast. Just over a week ago Faith was in her past, a painful reminder of her failure to protect someone. A regret of things done, and not done.

She heard footsteps approaching and adjusted herself, teasing her hair into place, trying to look her best.

"Grabbed a few." Faith said, with an armful of bottles that she dropped onto the bed.

"More than a few, I'd say!" Laughed Buffy.

"You know me, B. Not good at things in moderation." She said flashing a grin.

Buffy smiled. That grin melted her heart every time. It always had done, truth be told.

Faith cracked the caps off two bottles and handed one to her. "To us!" She said, raising the toast and clinking it against her own.

"To us." Buffy replied, wishing that they was an 'us'.

The dark slayer settled back down on the window seat, stretching out full length, drinking her beer.

"You have a great view from up here."

"Thanks. I've always liked it. The sun rises this side. It's a beautiful sight." She said dreamily, watching Faith relaxing in her room.

"Nice. I had that, at my old place. Not the motel." She added, looking embarrassed. "When I had the apartment with the roof terrace. Loved those digs."

Buffy knew that was the place the Mayor had bought for her to stay in. She remembered it. She remembered it because that's where she had stabbed Faith, out there on that terrace, just as the sun was making it's way back into the sky. She sighed.

"It's ok B."

"Sorry?" She said, Faith's voice bringing her back into the present.

"I know what you're thinking, and it's ok. I didn't mention it to bring anything up." She said, looking over at Buffy.

"I…" Came the weak reply.

"Really. It's cool." She smiled and looked back out of the window, taking another drink of her beer.

They were quiet for a while, and Buffy noticed how comfortable Faith seemed to be in her company, just being together, without any distraction or even conversation. She felt the same way, except for the hormones that were still raging through her body.

The next couple of hours flew by. They talked about all sorts, from Uni to food, the undead to Anya's fascination with money and how they both liked the idea of a house by the sea. Faith had finished off four beers and had got comfy in the cushioned seat.

Buffy slipped out to her bathroom a little after 1am, changed into her sleepwear and robe, and returned to find the dark slayer asleep, breathing deeply. Slowly she made her way over to the window and knelt down beside her. She looked so peaceful as she lay on side, her hands tucked up under her chin. Buffy sighed as she watched her and listened to her breathe.

A strand of dark hair had fallen across Faith's face. Biting her lip, she tentatively reached out her fingertips and carefully teased it back behind her ear. The dark slayer let out a deep sigh at the touch, subconsciously enjoying it. Buffy's breath hitched at the sound she had elicited, her fingers still entwined in the dark tresses. She allowed them to linger a while, the curls wrapping around her hand. Scared that her actions would be noticed, she reluctantly moved after slowly trailing her touch across the soft cheek of the woman that lay before.

The feel of her was electric. Each digit burned from the sweet contact it had had. The urge to lean down and kiss those full lips was almost impossible to suppress. Instead however, she licked her own and imagined pressing them against Faith's, wondering at the softness she would feel there.

After what seemed like an age of being able to freely stare at the woman who had totally captured her, she stood and removed her gown, placing it gently over her. She got into bed, on the side nearest the window and took one last look before turning out the light.


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note:-** Only Renee belongs to me (and she's a little annoying!)

**Chapter 7**

The light streaming through under the curtains work Faith earlier than usual. She stretched, yawned and rubbed her eyes before looking around. She'd not remembered falling asleep at all. She always maintained the habit of sleeping in her own bed regardless of whom she had spent the night with. But she had spent the night with Buffy in her room, drinking and talking. She must have just dropped off.

Sitting up she noticed the bathrobe that had been draped over. She smiled down, feeling the fabric under her fingertips and slowly brought it up to her face. She inhaled slightly, the scent of the blonde slayer filling her nostrils. She closed eyes for a moment allowing herself to be immersed in the soft aroma that was Buffy Summers, touched by the thought that she had wrapped her up in it just hours earlier.

Opening her eyes she looked over to the bed and at the sleeping beauty that lay there in deep slumber. She was on her front, her face turned towards her, her left hand up by her hair. The duvet had been kicked free in the night, her body exposed to the dark slayer that was taking her in bit by bit.

Faith gulped, and bit her lip as she allowed her eyes to travel up from Buffy's feet, along her toned lean legs and over her tight ass encased in a pair of white panties. The dip in her lower back was breath taking, and she continued her gaze upwards and over the white tank top to her long golden hair.

The first time she had seen Buffy she could have sworn her heart had stopped beating. She was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. That thought had never left her, even during their fights and the absence of her; she had never forgotten a single curve. And now, here she was watching her sleep. Guarding the most precious thing in her world.

She looked away, suddenly feeling guilty for looking too much. Guilty for the thoughts she knew would never come to anything. Maybe once, maybe, if she hadn't messed everything up. Maybe, just maybe, she could have shown her true feelings. But who was she kidding? Buffy had never indicated a desire for her. Not really. She'd enjoyed the flirting, the sparing, but now? She'd noticed a change in her, sure, almost a need to be close; an emptiness.

Faith let her eyes drift back over to her, watching the rise and fall of her body as she slept, her face so peaceful. Of course she had changed though, she mused. She'd lost her Mom, almost lost her home and Angel was in LA. But she had needed her to come back. That had counted for something after all that had happened? She'd never allowed herself to imagine that Buffy could ever want her around again. Those nights she had known she was being watched she'd took to mean as a 'stakeout'; checking that her propensity for evil had subsided.

She rose quietly from the window seat not wanting to disturb the slumbering blonde. The clock read 05:27.

Still holding the robe she walked over to Buffy and gently placed it over her, covering her shoulders and down to the backs of her calves. She resisted the urge to touch her although the desire was so great, and left, closing the door behind her.

…**..**

07:45. The alarm bleeped loudly as a hand flew out and hit the snooze button. Her dream had been rudely interrupted. She hated that. Faith had been there. They were somewhere warm and sunny looking out to sea. She was sat in the dark slayers arms. They were wrapped around her tightly and she could feel her cheek next to hers. She smiled, and sighed out load, before realising that she had company.

Her eyes flew open. The window seat was empty and she felt a pain in her chest at the absence of Faith, both the real and the dream version. She turned over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. When had she left? Why had she left? Had she felt her touching her face and freaked out?

"Fuck!" She said out loud, kicking her leg out.

Looking down she saw the robe. She sat up and bunched it up next to her, smiling. Faith must have returned the favour before she left. '_She must have seen me in my underwear and touched me_.' She mused. She felt a sudden ache in her stomach and her body tingled as she wondered if those strong hands had caressed her as she'd covered her up.

Her breath hitched in her throat, her head swimming and her body on fire as she allowed her fantasies to come to life again in her mind. Lying back down on the bed, she closed her eyes her hand resting gently on her chest. Slowly she started to tease her already hard nipple through the fabric of her vest, rolling it slightly between her fingers. She let out a low moan at the touch and imagined Faith's fingers doing the work, as her long dark hair fell over her. Her other hand was making a steady journey down to the edge of her underwear as she continued to see the dark slayer above her, lying between her legs.

She pushed her hand into her panties feeling the small strip of hair under her palm, her fingers languishing over her swollen clit.

"Buffy? Buffy? You up yet? Breakfast is ready?" Came Renee's voice just outside her door.

"Shit!" She muttered, pulling her hand away and tossing the duvet over herself as a knock came at the door.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes…yeah…" God her heart was pounding, as well as her lower body, that was in desperate need to be touched.

The door pushed open and Renee's face appeared in the crack. "Morning you! Glad you're awake. We've been up for awhile now, so breakfast is ready."

"We?" She added, trying to sound sleepy.

"Me and Faith. She's cooked a feast as its Saturday." She grinned.

"Really?" Buffy smiled.

"Yeah. Faith's idea. She said it would be nice to make you breakfast. I think it's sweet."

She felt her cheeks flush a little at the idea of the dark slayer spending the night and leaving to make her food. She couldn't help wishing she'd 'really' spent the night and was going to return with breakfast in bed.

"Buffy?"

"Uh?"

"You ok? You seem a little distracted?"

"Sorry…yes…distracted…Er, no, no, I'm just coming round. Sleepy…yes." She said, feigning a yawn and stretching, trying to ignore the desire that was flooding her entire body.

"Food will wake you up! Come on." Renee answered almost jumping into the room.

"Coming." Buffy said, wishing she'd actually had the chance. She slipped her feet into her slippers and trudged after the young slayer to the kitchen.

The aroma was divine, and her stomach growled as she entered the room and saw the stack of pancakes and strips of bacon on the table. There were eggs, juice, coffee, toast, syrup and hash browns. It looked incredible. So too did Faith.

Her back was to the door, her body clad in tight black jeans and a red T-Shirt; her long dark hair cascaded down over her shoulders. Her eyes greedily took in all they could before she turned and grinned at her.

"Morning sleepyhead." She said huskily.

Buffy's stomach growled again, this time hungry for something other than food, her body still aching from her own failed ministrations. "Hey." Was all she managed to say as she clumsily sat at the table, trying to control her mind.

"This looks great Faith! Thanks" Renee cooed, pulling up a seat opposite her.

"No sweat kid. You helped too."

She grinned and started on the food, filling her plate and then her mouth with food as though she'd been starved for a month.

"You hungry?"

"Uh?" Came the dreamy reply.

The chair moved out from next to her and Faith was suddenly there by her side. "I asked if you were hungry? Can I you get anything?"

Her voice sounded low and dirty. Well in Buffy's head it did anyway. Could she get her anything? Yes, an orgasm with a side of sex please. She swallowed hard, pushing the thoughts down and tried to answer coherently.

"Yes." She looked up and her eyes met with Faith's. Her pulse quickened.

"What do you want?" She said, a soft smiling forming on her full lips.

"Food."

"There's quite a selection here B, you're gonna have to give me more of an idea than that." She replied.

"Yes…yes…of course…food. What a stupid answer!" She said laughing, trying to sound funny and casual and failing miserably. "I'll have everything. It all looks and smells amazing." _'And so do you.'_ She wanted to add on the end.

Faith smiled, and grabbing a plate started to fill it with food. She handed it back to Buffy and started on her own.

"This is yummy!" Renee chirped.

"Thank you." Buffy said warmly, before taking a mouthful of bacon.

"You're welcome." The dark slayer answered, meeting her eyes again.

"You've gone to so much trouble."

"No trouble, B, really. It was my pleasure."

She blushed at the words, becoming aware of her arousal again. This was like sweet torture.

"Faith said she wanted to do something nice for you, so she went to the store and got everything." The young slayer said; totally unaware of the atmosphere between the two older girls.

Now it was Faith's turn to blush. She looked down at her plate and focused on eating.

"Really?" Buffy smiled, looking over at her.

"Yeah. Nice huh?" Renee added.

"Yes. Really nice."

Faith could feel the blonde's eyes on her, and wished Renee would just stop talking.

"She's bought stuff for dinner too, although I'm out tonight with Willow and Tara. We're heading over to The Magic Box to try out some simple spells, so it'll just be the two of you." She said, eating her last bit of pancake. "That was fantastic Faith. Thanks again. I'll wash up after my shower." With that she dropped her plate in the sink and headed out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Except for the scraping of cutlery on plates, both slayers remained quiet. Had Buffy heard correctly, that Faith had planned dinner for just the two of them? She looked up discreetly, watching the brunette, wondering what to say.

"Thank you." She finally said.

"No worries." Came the reply that was trying to sound cool.

"You didn't have to go to any expense for me." Buffy continued, bravely.

"Like I said, no worries." Faith answered, playing with her food awkwardly.

"It was really sweet of you. Thinking of me." No response came so she added, "Like covering me up this morning before you left."

"I…you…" She put her knife and fork down on the plate. "You looked cold."

"Did I?" She answered, her voice catching a little, suddenly enjoying pushing the conversation, wanting Faith to open up.

"Er…yes…you…you were uncovered." She took a drink of coffee, wrapping her hands around the mug as she placed it back on the table.

"Really?"

"Uh, huh."

Buffy smiled. She couldn't believe how uncomfortable the usually confident slayer had become since Renee's announcement. She also couldn't believe how relaxed she was becoming in Faith's company, teasing her this way. "Well it was kind of you Faith." She paused then added cheekily. "What time do you want me then?"

"Sorry?" Said Faith, almost spluttering on her drink.

"For dinner. What time do you want me?" She grinned, her heart quickening.

"Right, yes…dinner."

"Just the two of us I believe?" She continued, goading her.

"Looks like."

"Is that a problem or did you already know when you went to the store?"

Faith shifted in her chair before standing and clearing her plate into the trash. She started busying herself doing everything she could to not look at Buffy. "Renee might have mentioned it, yes."

"That we'd be alone you mean?" The blonde slayer added, teasingly.

"Well…that they would be out, so…"

"So you thought you'd cook for me."

"If you like."

"I would like." She said smiling, biting her lip as she let her eyes drift over Faith's body. The tug in her stomach started once more.

Silence again, except for the tidying of pots, the scraping of dishes and the running of water.

Buffy pushed again, relishing this newfound confidence. "So what time do you want me Faith." She breathed sexily.

Faith's hand crushed the glass she was holding in the dishwater at the sound of the blonde's voice, a rush of panic and arousal flooding her veins. Looking down at the water she could see the blood slowly turning the water red.

"Faith?" The soft voice continued.

"E…Eight." God she was stammering like Tara now. Her hand started to throb.

Taking it out she could see a shard of glass embedded in her palm. Reaching out with her right hand she tried to grab a cloth but it dropped to her feet. She turned to pick it up but met Buffy's eyes instead. She froze, cupping her hand to stop the blood dripping onto the tile.

"You're hurt!" Buffy cried, seeing the blood on Faith's fingers.

She ran over grabbed some paper towels and reached out taking the dark slayers hand in her own. "Sit down." She ordered, calmly.

Faith did so, her eyes focused on her hand and the gentle touch being administered to it.

"What happened?"

"Broke a glass. Sorry."

"It's just a glass Faith. It's fine, but this isn't. God. I'm going to have to remove the piece sticking out ok?"

"Ok." She replied, almost in a trance.

A small pool of blood had formed on the floor between, as Buffy stood clutching the damaged hand in her own. Gently she pulled on the glass, and eased it out of the wound. More blood poured out as she pressed the tissue firmly down to stop the flow.

"It's quite deep. You may need some stitches."

"I'll be fine."

"You a doctor now?" She said, a little frustrated at how little Faith seemed to care she was hurt.

"I've had worse. Anyway, we heal quick remember?"

Buffy looked down at her, her hand still in her own. She wished it were there because Faith had put it there under different circumstances. It still felt incredible though. "Let me dress it for you at least."

"Sure."

"Press down on the tissue for me." She said, heading to the kitchen drawer and returning with a first aid kit. Every good slayer had one. She unwrapped a fresh bandage, cut a piece of gauze and attached two strips of tape to the edge of the table.

"Here we are." She said, returning Faith's hand to her own.

She slowly removed the tissue and replaced it with the gauze ensuring the wound was covered. Quickly she proceeded to wrap the bandage around the dark slayers hand, keeping it fairly tight, but allowing movement in her fingers, before taping it in place.

"There. That should do it. I'll check it later."

"Ok, sure."

She returned the first aid kit before heading back over to Faith. "You alright? You've lost quite a bit of blood."

"I'm fine B, really. Thanks." She said, looking down at her hand and flexing her fingers. "I'll get this cleaned up." She indicated to the floor.

"I got it." Buffy replied, taking a wet cloth from the side and wiping up the pool on the floor.

As she got back up her eyes met Faith's and for a moment all they could do was stare at one another. Nothing was spoken, as the blonde reached up and used her free hand to gently caress the bandaged area, her fingers brushing along the material before coming into contact with skin. She continued, bringing her thumb up to join in the caress that was sending a surge of lust through her body. Faith's eyes were on her, and they seemed to be getting darker, and she wasn't pulling away. Buffy swallowed hard at the realization that she may actually be enjoying her touch.

"I'm back!" Renee burst back into the room, suddenly bringing the moment to a very abrupt end, and shocking them into losing contact.

"What did I miss?" She added, heading for the sink. "Err, blood in the water."

"Faith just had a little accident. Be careful when you drain the dishes. There's a broken glass in there." Buffy said, her eyes still on Faith's.

"You alright?" The young slayer added, turning to look at the brunette, now cradling her own hand.

"Five by five kid." She answered, quite unsteadily, before pulling away and heading to the basement door. "I'm going for a lie down if that's ok." She turned to catch Buffy's eye.

"See you later Faith." Piped Renee.

"Of course." The blonde slayer replied, looking deeply into her gorgeous brown eyes. "I'll come and see you in a bit. Make sure you're alright. That's if that's ok with you?" She added, her nerves returning.

"I'd like that." Faith said, smiling at her, before making her way downstairs.

Buffy watched her go, her breathing unsteady as she made her way back up to her room. She needed to finish what she'd started.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:- Sorry for the LONG wait!**

**Chapter 8**

Faith reached for her ipod and hit play before flopping onto the bed, her hands over her face.

"What the fuck?" She groaned aloud.

The music drifted into the room and she allowed it to melt into her, her mind trying to process the breakfast.

Buffy had been flirting with her, she was certain of it. In fact she'd been so damn confident it had scared her. She'd enjoyed making her squirm and the evidence of its success was throbbing under a bandage.

She had gone to the store intending to surprise Buffy with dinner, so why did it matter that she knew already? Renee had taken her control away and made her feel foolish, like some teenager with a stupid crush. It wasn't done deliberately, but now it all seemed too much. And what would the blonde slayer be thinking anyway? 'First you stay over in my room, then you cook me a breakfast banquet and then I find out you're wining and dining me alone tonight? Gee Faith, what's gotten into you?'

Her eyes rolled in her head. Buffy had clearly felt comfortable with the idea of spending the evening with her. After all, they spent time together every day doing something or other, but last night had been the first real chance to talk and it had felt good. It almost felt easier than a year ago, because this time Buffy seemed to want her there. In fact she seemed to need her there.

Faith smiled, and sighed deeply. She'd loved Buffy from the first moment she saw her. Every part of her had danced at their first simple touch, a handshake. But love was something the dark slayer had never been acquainted with. She'd never felt it or received it, so when her world had turned evil and Buffy had abandoned her, it had only reaffirmed that she was unlovable. Too damaged to have anything good stay around. But throughout the pain she'd still wanted her. She'd still craved their connection, at the same time wanting that love to be cut out of her like a diseased organ.

When Buffy had stabbed her it had felt incredible; like a release from the bonds of her empty life. It seemed fitting that her source of desire was the one to finish her.

Subconsciously her hand had fallen over the deep scar that ran across her abdomen, her fingertips playing along the mark and imagining the pain again.

She remembered smiling up at Buffy as the knife was stuck inside her, holding onto the hands that were wrapped tightly around its handle. She'd seen the hatred drain away and a look of sorrow appear in those green eyes. She'd seemed so lost at that moment, and even when the rain started to fall she had made no effort to move or speak. A tear had run down her cheek but she doubted the blonde had noticed. She remembered biting her lip so hard it broke open, the taste of the metallic blood on her tongue.

But the thing she remembered most was her last few seconds of breath looking into the eyes of the woman she still loved as she had whispered softly, 'Thank you', and then nothing.

Faith rolled onto her side and wiped away her tears. She needed to sleep, to escape into her dreams, to be anywhere else than here. But that wouldn't change her heart or the pain in her soul. It was too late for that; too late for her. She closed her eyes praying for the death she knew would not come.

…**..**

Buffy had tried to kill time since getting ready for her day. She had nothing planned, until her 'date' at eight, so she'd finished some college work, made a few phone calls even tidied her underwear drawer just to try and keep her mind occupied. All she really wanted to do was go down into the basement and see Faith, but she couldn't appear desperate.

Willow and Tara had appeared mid morning and had hovered about for a while before taking off with Renee. She'd been so tempted to talk to them about her feelings, but when had she ever been good at doing that? She couldn't help thinking actually admitting them to someone else might make her act on them, or at least deal with them.

She groaned. Why was this so difficult? She'd never been one to shy away from anything in her whole life, but now it seemed impossible to deal with the desire she had for Faith. Was that all it was? Lust? An infatuation for someone the same as her, that shared that connection? No. When she'd seen the blood and the damage to the dark slayer's hand all she'd wanted to do was keep her safe. Her arousal had been forgotten and replaced with a need to hold her in her arms and make it better.

But Faith didn't let people close. She hadn't before and this time seemed no different, except for last night. That had felt different. She'd seemed relaxed and talkative. God, it had felt good.

She sighed and looked over at the clock. Just after two. Surely it would be ok to check up on her now? After all, she needed to check on her hand. She was almost glad for the excuse.

With trepidation she made her way to the basement door. It was open, so she went down the stairs and started to listen to Avril Lavigne's soft voice coming from the speakers.

I looked away  
>Then I look back at you,<br>You try to say

The things that you can't undo.  
>If I had my way<br>I'd never get over you.  
>Today's the day<br>I pray that we make it through.

Make it through the fall,  
>Make it through it all.<p>

Buffy came to the bottom of the stairs and stood watching Faith asleep on the bed. She found herself drifting slowly towards her as the music continued.

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces,  
>I just want to sit and stare at you.<br>I don't want to talk about it.  
>And I don't want a conversation,<br>I just want to cry in front of yo.u  
>I don't want to talk about it.<br>Cuz I'm in Love With you._

_You're the only one,  
>I'd be with till the end.<br>When I come undone  
>You bring me back agai.n<br>Back under the stars,  
>Back into your arms.<em>

She was at the foot of the bed now, and she knelt down in front of the dark slayer, her eyes scanning over her full lips and those adorable dimples, resisting the urge to just lean down and kiss her.

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces,  
>I just want to sit and stare at you.<br>I don't want to talk about it.  
>And I don't want a conversation,<br>I just want to cry in front of you.  
>I don't want to talk about it.<br>Cuz I'm in Love With you._

Buffy smiled. The lyrics certainly resonated with her. All she wanted was to be closer, nearer, the only one. The only one to matter to Faith, to see her, to have all of her.

_Wanna know who you are,  
>Wanna know where to start,<br>I wanna know what this means._

_Wanna know how you feel,  
>Wanna know what is real,<br>I wanna know everything, everything._

_Cuz I'm in love with you.  
>I'm in love with you.<br>I'm in love with you._

As the song finished and a Snow Patrol track kicked in, Buffy brought herself back to the moment, worried that if Faith woke up and saw her knelt by her side that she would think she was some sort of creepy stalker. Not what she wanted to convey at all!

"Faith." She breathed, softly, her hand trailing along her naked arm.

She felt goose bumps as she made the connection with the tanned skin. She had to suppress a sigh.

"Faith." A little louder this time.

"Umm, B." Came the husky reply, smiling dreamily, but not waking.

Buffy froze as she heard her name being moaned. She felt a buzzing in her heart and in her groin, amazed at how little it took to get her off balance. But she smiled too, wondering how deep in she really was.

"Yes...It's me." She replied, leaning in closer.

"Umm. Like you here." A softer tone this time, filled with contentment.

Buffy liked it too, relishing in the feelings that Faith was displaying unwittingly. A pang of guilt came also, but her desire overturned it quickly as she continued to talk to the slumbering brunette.

"Where?"

"With you."

Buffy's pulse quickened, but she continued, her voice soft and gentle next to her ear.

"You like me close to you Faith?" She sighed.

"Umm…close…yes."

"How close?" She said, allowing her lips to gently graze the dark slayers ear lobe.

"Touching me."

Buffy swallowed hard at the words, pulling away quickly and leaning back on her calves. It was taking time to process. 'Faith wants me' were the only words circling her mind, making her body hum.

And then she said something before she could stop her mouth from moving.

"I love you."

Three simple words whispered into the room like a promise.

She bit her lip, startled by her own admission to the woman she quite simply adored.

"Ummm." Came a long, dreamy sound.

Buffy sat back and watched her sleep. She had no concept of time. She was only aware of the songs playing and the most beautiful sight lay out before her.

When she did eventually stir, the blonde reached out her hand and gently shook her arm pretending to be waking her up.

"Hey." Faith said, wiping her eyes and looking at Buffy. "You ok?"

"Just thought I'd come and check your hand." She smiled, trying to hide all the feelings that were clambering to get out.

"No problem."

She sat up slowly, unfolding herself like a graceful cat presenting her paw.

Buffy unwrapped it carefully, retaining the tape, and removed the gauze. The wound had stopped bleeding, but it looked deep and painful. Glanicing up she saw the younger girl wince.

"Sorry, if I'm hurting you." She said tenderly.

"It's just a bit sore, is all."

Reaching into her pocket, Buffy brought out a tube of antiseptic.

"Well, this might sting, but I just need to know that the cut is clean, ok?"

"Ok."

She unscrewed the lid and squeezed a length of cream onto her fingertip, before gently working it into Faith's palm. She heard the dark slayer's breath catch as the sting hit her.

"Sorry."

"Not your fault B."

"I know, but I don't want to hurt you." She said, meaning every word for so many other reasons.

After she finished, Buffy reapplied the bandage and stood up to go.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

For a moment they looked at each other, neither one knowing what to say. The blonde smiled tenderly listening to the song playing as she struggled to speak.

I fear my heart is beating on the outside of my skin  
>And anyone who wants to can look on in.<br>They will find me in my solitude,  
>Yeah, sometimes in my sin.<p>

"I like your music Faith." She said lamely.

"Yeah?" The dark slayer replied, seeming pleased.

"It's great when you find a new song or artist."

"What do you like?"

She smiled deeply.

"Anything where the lyrics capture your heart, or a simple piano and a female voice. Something that touches you, you know?"

"I do know." Faith said, her eyes looking so intense.

"Maybe…" Buffy said, stopping herself.

"Maybe what, B?"

"Maybe, you could play some tonight…at…at dinner?" She added, hopeful of their evening together.

"I'd like that."

"Really?" She replied, shuddering at how much she sounded like a schoolgirl all of a sudden.

"Really."

Faith smiled and Buffy found her eyes dropping down to watch her mouth move, fascinated by the curve of her upper lip.

"I'll have everything ready for eight as promised." The mouth said, as Buffy continued to gaze hungrily at it. She nudged herself internally, coughed a little and looked away, suddenly feeling the need to leave before she said or did anything stupid.

"Eight…yes…yes…great time eight…o'clock…yes…dinner and music…you and me…at eight…yes. Great." She said, almost stumbling to the stairs.

"See you then." The soft Bostonian voice replied.

"Wear?"

"Sorry?"

'Shit!' The blonde thought.

"Wear, er…what should I wear?"

Faith grinned, catching Buffy's eye.

"Surprise me."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Surprise me?! What does that mean?" Muttered Buffy as she rifled through her wardrobe.

She was so nervous. Was this a date? Is that what Faith had in mind? Surely not, as nothing had been said between them, let alone happen. But this felt so different from a usual dinner at home with a friend.

Willow had cooked for her plenty of times, even before Tara, when she'd come round to study. It had never felt like this. Not with anyone in fact. Nothing about it seemed casual.

Buffy took a deep breath and removed her favourite little black dress, laying it out on the bed. It was simple but elegant and she always felt amazing wearing it. It was strapless, tapered in at the waist then dropped down above the knee. She was going to dress for this occasion, for Faith.

She bathed leisurely, enjoying the time to pamper her body. She shaved her legs and rubbed lotion all over before applying her signature perfume. Her make-up applied, her eyelashes curled and her hair full of bounce she slipped out of her robe and into her carefully selected underwear. She'd opted for a black lacy strapless bra and matching thong.

As she put them on she couldn't help but imagine what Faith's hands would feel like trying to take them off, almost feral with desire for her. The thought sent her spiralling again, her arousal coursing through her body. She wanted nothing more than this evening to end up back in her room, tumbling onto the bed together in a frenzy of arms and legs, breasts and, "Oh God!" She groaned aloud, frustrated.

Checking herself in the mirror she eased into her little black number and adjusted her cleavage accordingly. She had to admit that she looked pretty good. For once she had managed to get ready without a hair disaster or a mascara problem. She decided not to wear a necklace, instead allowing her golden curls to frame her neck and chest.

Buffy looked at the clock as she slipped her feet into her black heels. Ten minutes to go. Her heart was thumping now. Here she was preparing for a date in her own house with the girl of her dreams.

She sighed, looking in the mirror.

"Just be confident tonight Buffy. Show her you care, but don't scare her away. Get her to open up to you, and…and…god! This is crazy!" She put her hands on the dresser. "You love Faith. I do. I love Faith. I have to find a way in to her heart. You have to help me." She said addressing her own reflection. "Ok. One last check…." She added, dabbing her lips with a tissue and teasing her hair. "You're good, now go!"

With that she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. As she walked through the living room the smell of dinner hit her and her stomach growled.

Faith was stirring something on the stove as she entered, which gave her a moment to run her eyes up and down the slayer.

She was wearing a tight pair of black cords with boots and a beautiful black leather waistcoat that laced up her lower back. She gulped at the sight, wanting to run her hands over those long strong arms.

No quicker than her thoughts had entered her head, Faith turned instinctively towards her.

When their eyes met, Buffy noticed the spoon drop into the sauce. She smiled, enjoying the effect her outfit was obviously having on the brunette.

The dark slayer slowly walked towards her.

"You look…" Her eyes dropped down and slowly made their way up her entire body, settling briefly on her chest, then returning to meet her gaze. "Beautiful…you look beautiful." She almost whispered.

Buffy stood still, allowing Faith's eyes and words to linger, her breath quickening at the appraisal.

"Sorry B, you er…you've left me a little speechless here." She blushed slightly, a cute grin spreading across her face.

"You like what you see?" The blonde replied, feeling incredibly confident all of a sudden, remembering her pep talk in the mirror.

"I, er…you…well, I…Fuck." She flicked her eyes away momentarily as if searching for the right words, before returning her gaze. "Yes. I like what I see."

Buffy loved the sound of the simple truth being spoken, and noticed too the serious expression on Faith's face. She meant every word.

"Thank you." She replied graciously, flashing her a coy smile.

Tearing her eyes away, the blonde slayer scanned the kitchen. The table was beautifully laid out with some white wine in a cooler and the best china set out for a three-course meal. Music was playing in the background and she'd lit candles and placed them around the room. Then she saw the flowers, a large glass vase she'd never seen before with two-dozen deep red roses in it. She blushed to her core. This was a date. Her heart raced.

Faith moved a chair out for Buffy.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure."

She sat comfortably and watched as Faith returned to the dinner that was bubbling away.

"I hope you're hungry B?"

"Starving actually." She replied, thinking how hungry she really was in other ways.

"Soup to start."

With that Faith proceeded to pour out two bowls, placing one in front of Buffy and cutting a large chunk of freshly baked bread onto her side plate.

"Wow, this looks amazing."

"I hope it tastes just as good." She said, grinning.

The blonde slayer took a spoonful into her mouth and let the flavours roll around her tongue.

"This is really good Faith. I didn't know you cooked."

"I don't really. I just know a few key dishes."

"Well, I'm impressed." Buffy said, smiling at her. "You've spoiled me today with all this food. Whatever did I do to deserve it?" She said, teasingly.

"You didn't do anything, I just thought it would be nice. You have put me up after all. Least I could do really is, make you dinner."

Buffy felt a little disappointed if that was truly the reason, but looking over at the flowers and candles left her in no doubt as to other the reason.

"Would you like some wine?" Faith said suddenly.

"I would love some, thanks." She raised her glass. "What should we toast to?" She asked.

"I'm not good with toasts B, so you decide."

"Ok." She paused, and chewed on her bottom lip thinking. Smiling she said simply, "To us."

"To us." Faith replied, clinking her glass.

Their eyes met briefly, but the dark slayer looked away. Not before Buffy had seen a look of something akin to desire flash through them.

She pushed on, enjoying mouthfuls of bread and soup as she went.

"The roses are beautiful Faith. Are they for me?" She asked; proud that she was maintaining control.

"Yes". Faith huskily whispered.

Buffy shivered a little at the sound. How that voice affected her was incredible.

"Thank you. I can't remember the last time anyone bought me flowers."

Faith looked up at her, slight colour in her cheeks.

"I just wanted you to have something...special. Every girl deserves flowers."

"If I'd known that I'd have bought you some too."

"I, er…I'm not really the flowers type."

"I'll remember that." She smiled warmly, causing Faith to glance away.

"Anyway, they're a good way to say 'thanks for bandaging my hand.'" She smiled.

Buffy was really enjoying herself, relishing the effect her confident words were having on the brunette. This was after all, the tough, cocky, 'get some, get gone girl', but here, tonight, she was being uncharacteristically shy.

She couldn't take her eyes off Faith as she watched her eat, her gaze drifting from her lips down her neck and sinking into the top of her waistcoat, along her breasts pressed tightly into the leather. She knew her own chest was rising and falling heavier with every second that passed.

Faith finished her soup and looked up catching Buffy staring at her intently, her eyes glazed. Her cheeks burned and she swallowed hard.

"You…you want your main course yet?" She said her breath catching.

"Sure, if you're ready?"

Faith stood and reached down to the blonde's bowl, those green eyes fixing on hers as she spoke.

"Delicious." She said, her tongue lightly sweeping over her bottom lip.

She froze, watching the small movement and feeling it in her crotch. It took all her will power to not grab Buffy by the back of the neck and kiss her furiously. There would have been a time when she would have, all sense gone, devouring the moment and those soft lips that were begging to be touched.

Instead she silently took their bowls and returned to the sink, calmed her breathing and opened the oven.

"I remember that you liked Italian, so hope lasagne is ok for you?"

"Perfect. Fancy you remembering that"

"We all ate at that little place in town for your birthday, not long after I arrived. It was your favourite at the time, anyway."

"It still is actually, although the menu has changed quite a bit since then. I'll have to take you there sometime." Buffy said flashing her best smile.

Faith didn't reply, instead serving up a generous portion of food onto two plates before presenting them at the table and retaking her seat.

"Wow! That's a big helping**"**, the blonde said, laughing.

"Slayers have to keep their strength up you know." She replied, grinning.

"Still with the H & H theory then Faith." She teased.

"Well I can take care of one at least."

"Tara tells me you take care of the other down at that club in town." She said, batting her eyelashes, hoping to get a rise out of the brunette.

"I…How…God, is nothing private around here?" She said, blushing heavily this time.

"I didn't realise it was supposed to be a secret. After all, you've told me that's where you go at night.

"Sometimes B. Sometimes. And not always for…god! I can't believe we're having this conversation.

"Have I embarrassed you Faith?" She smiled.

"Just, surprised me I guess."

"You used to push me to discuss these things with you, do you remember that?"

"Yeah. I teased you quite a bit didn't I?" She said reminiscing to herself.

"You did. All the time in fact."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. I liked it. Still do actually."

Faith looked back up at her and was met with the softest most beautiful eyes, melting into hers. She felt her chest tighten, so she looked away, changing the subject.

"Would you like any more wine?"

"Sure. Thank you."

She topped them both up before returning to her meal.

"This is wonderful. You should have been a chef."

Faith laughed.

"Hardly. Not when there are this many undead things to kill. Don't reckon I'd have the time."

"You're right, but you can be my chef any time you like." She smiled seductively.

The dark slayer smiled as she ate her lasagne, trying to focus on the taste of the food rather than smell of Buffy's perfume that kept invading her senses. She smelt divine, the soft tones seeping into her, calming her on the one hand, and arousing her on the other.

Buffy on the other hand was enjoying the way she was getting to the younger girl and couldn't take her off of her. She'd never been this confident around someone she was attracted to.

"I love your music selection by the way." She said breaking the silence.

"I just put it on shuffle."

"Surprised we've not had any heavy rock then by now." She grinned.

"Well, I have a playlist." She replied sheepishly.

"A playlist for me?"

"No, no…a have a selection of songs that just make me feel more relaxed."

"Nice. I have mixes like that. Ones that make me drift off into a place and time."

"Yeah, like that."

They smiled at one another.

"You're welcome to any tracks you like B. I can introduce you to some singers."

"We'll have to do that. Sit and listen to music together."

"Yeah." Faith said dreamily.

The lasagne finished, Faith produced a tangy lemon tart from the fridge, opened the package and served it to the blonde. Finishing the last of the wine she asked.

"Do you want me to open another bottle?"

"That would be nice." Buffy replied looking at Faith deeply.

Faith opened another bottle and poured out two more glasses. Silence fell between their gaze.

"I wanted..." For the first time, her voice failed her.

"What B?"

"I wanted to ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything."

Buffy's breath caught a little with thoughts of the other questions she wanted to ask the dark slayer. Of her secrets; her desires.

"I wanted to ask if you've done this before?"

"Dinner?"

"Yes. No…You know...for someone else?"

Faith smiled and took another sip of wine.

"No. I've never done this before. I hope it didn't show."

"God no!" Buffy cried, then more calmly added. "No, it was perfect."

"Why did you ask me that?" Faith asked, awkwardly.

"I just thought that with you being all confident, and you know, more worldly wise, that you'd have done this before, for someone, maybe someone special." She gulped, "Or not special, just someone...Oh god, I'm babbling like I've swallowed a Willow pill or something!"

"It's ok B. It's just the wine."

"Maybe, yes." Buffy said taking another sip anyway pulling herself together.

Faith met her eyes and smiled.

"Buffy...B...I have never done this before, because…" She sighed, wanting so much to open up to her. "I've never really had friendships, or relationships for that matter. I've not stuck around long enough. Maybe I'm not the type, you know?"

"Oh...right."

Faith caught Buffy's dejected gaze, and noticed the adorable pout that had formed on her beautiful lips. She swallowed hard, pushing herself to continue.

"I want to be different, but I don't always know how to do that. I thought I'd do something I'd never done before…with dinner I mean. You've been so good to me since I came here, inviting me to help with the kid, hell even letting me be part of the Scoobs. I wanted to do something just for you, no strings, and no jokes, none of my usual shit. Just me. I'm not…." Faith looked down at her hands on the table. "I'm not good at being just me, B. Never have been."

"You're doing a great job from where I'm sitting."

She smiled, still not able to meet those perfect green eyes, turning her attention to the tangy lemon tart in front of her.

"I guess it's just a question of where you feel comfortable and who you feel safe with." Buffy continued. "Relationships take time. I know I'm lucky."

"You are." She smiled wistfully.

"You're safe here Faith." She swallowed hard, feeling the weight of her words.

The dark slayer closed her eyes briefly, tears starting to form behind her eyelids. Blinking them away, she stood and tipped her remaining dessert into the trash; her back turned as she looked out of the window into the darkness.

"Are you ok? Did I say something wrong?" Buffy asked slowly.

"I'm five by five." She replied quietly without conviction.

"You don't sound like it to me."

"What would you know?" Her anger started to rise in her chest; feeling the need to push the blonde away.

"Maybe nothing, but I'd like to. I'd like to know you." Her voice faltered. "I'm sorry if I've upset you. Please just talk to me."

Faith stood motionless except for her fingers drumming against the kitchen counter. What could she say? That she'd never felt safe anywhere? Never had a home? How could she have one here with Buffy in her world after everything; after she'd seen her fall? She would never be good enough for this world; for her.

"I…I…fuck!" She slammed her fist into the counter, enjoying the sharp pain that emanated up her arm.

"It's ok Faith."

"Is it?!" She spun round to face the most beautiful green eyes, filled with so much love that it was almost too much to take. She didn't deserve her care.

"Yes." Buffy calmed responded

"Then why doesn't it feel like it?" She shot back.

"I don't know. I thought everything was ok, that we were having a nice evening together." Her eyes dropped away, sadness in her tone.

Faith sighed. She couldn't stand hurting her. "I'm sorry B."

"Don't be. You are entitled to the feelings you have. I just want to help."

She stood and moved slowly towards the dark slayer.

"I can't do this." Faith said suddenly, turning towards the basement door.

"What Faith? What can't you do?" She said grabbing the brunette's wrist tightly, turning her to face her.

Her wrist burned with the contact, the grip so strong and forceful it terrified her. She looked into those eyes that had captured her, ashamed at her emotions and certain that her love for the blonde was written within her gaze.

"This." She breathed, barely able to speak; her mouth dry.

"What? Eating dinner, listening to music, talking, what?" Buffy pressed on.

"I can't give you what you want."

"And what is it I want Faith?" She whispered, her eyes glancing down to the full lips she was so desperate to kiss with her own.

"Honesty." She said simply, her eyes starting to fill again.

"Oh." The blonde said, breathing hard, and loosening her hold a little. "You know, I'm not asking anything of you that you don't want to give. I wouldn't do that to you." She stood back a bit, shifting her position to try and see Faith's face more clearly. "Please look at me. Please."

Buffy let go of her wrist completely and brought her hand up under the dark slayer's chin and gently raised it until their eyes met. Her breathing stopped when she saw the tears in those deep brown eyes. The sorrow in them sent a wave of pain to her heart.

"Oh Faith." Was all she could say as she brought her hand up to her cheek, her thumb brushing away a tear that had started to tumble. "You don't have to say or do anything you don't want to with me. I don't expect anything from you." She said with complete tenderness.

"Why would you?" The dark slayer said, quietly. "I can't be trusted."

"I trust you Faith."

"Really? After everything I've done?" She moved back, releasing herself from Buffy's gentle touch, her cheek tingling.

"Yes, after everything. You wouldn't be here if I didn't. I…I know I've done so many things to hurt you, to disappoint you, but I…I want to change that if I can, if you'll let me. I thought we were starting to connect, last night I…" She looked away embarrassed by her own honesty. "I loved having you close by. I felt so…safe. You make me feel safer than I have my entire life."

Faith looked at the beautiful blonde being so open with her, wishing she could do the same. The truth was she'd never felt as safe as she had in Buffy's room last night. It was the first night in over a month that she hadn't had one of her nightmares. But she wouldn't allow anyone to control her feelings she'd learnt that a long time ago.

"I'm glad I make you feel safe B." She said soothingly, not wanting to hurt her.

"I just…Faith, I just want to do the same for you." She replied, still not meeting her eyes.

"I know. I do…I…"

Buffy looked up suddenly taking Faith's hands in her own.

"Let me."

The dark slayer swallowed hard. Those green eyes were so full of love it sent her mind into a spin.

"I…" She stammered, as Buffy closed the gap between them.

"Let me in." She whispered, smiling so softly.

"I want to." Faith sighed, closing her eyes, losing herself in the closeness of the blonde slayer, her hands being held so protectively.

"I won't let you down again."

"I…" She tried to speak, not sure what it was she wanted to say, but she was too lost in the words she needed to hear that were soothing her soul.

"I won't give up on you." She felt one of her hands released, then the sudden sensation of her cheek being stroked lightly again. "I won't leave you."

Buffy smiled as she felt Faith move into her touch, enjoying the feel of her under her fingertips, the electricity moving through her.

"Stay with me." She said so softly, fearing the response but needing to say it. Needing the dark slayer closer. "Stay with me tonight."

"Buffy, I…" Faith tried to say, not understanding her need.

"I had such a wonderful time with you. I don't want it to end. We could…listen to some music or talk maybe. I just want to show you that you matter to me. That this matters to me." She said gesturing to the table and the wonderful meal they'd shared. "I want you to know I'm here."

When their eyes met again, Faith was in no doubt of the sincerity of Buffy's words. She felt a part of her wall crumble away, and although it scared her, she did feel safe in that moment, under her touch, in her eyes.

"I'll try anything for you." She said smiling softly.

Buffy sighed, her heart about to burst with the sudden need to hold the dark slayer and never let her go, but she had no intention of scaring her. Her hand still caressing her cheek, her eyes gazing into hers she knew this was going to be a long process. She also knew that she had to have Faith, to love Faith because she was already lost in her.

"I won't let you down. I promise." She removed her hand and slowly leaned in, never breaking eye contact as she placed the softest of kisses on Faith's cheek, lingering just a little longer to savour the moment and feel the flood of desire rush through her.

Faith's breath hitched at the contact, her eyes closing to capture the feel of those lips against her skin.

"I thought I told you not to make promises to me B?" She said softly, almost whispering.

"But I keep my promises. I know I will keep this one." She replied.

As Buffy pulled away she couldn't help but notice the dark slayers eyes closed, and she smiled at the effect she was having over her.

"Why don't we take the wine and music upstairs?" She said casually, letting Faith go.

"S…Sure." Came the stammered reply.

Grabbing the ipod and the drinks Buffy lead the way to her room. She consciously moved slowly in the hope that Faith was taking in her every move in the dress she had picked just for her. She grinned and her body burned with lust at the thought.

Faith was indeed watching her. She couldn't take her eyes off the beautiful blonde walking ahead of her, pressed into the tight black dress. She admired her muscular legs with each step she took as her gaze drifted up to the tight ass moving so gracefully from side to side. She looked incredible. Beautiful. Fuckable.

As she entered the room, Buffy picked up the matches from her dressing table and lit the candles that were on it, before proceeding to light the ones she'd strategically placed on the window seat.

Faith stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe watching the gorgeous slayer move around the room, gradually becoming lighter with every dancing flame. She wanted to walk over, slide an arm around the older girls waist and pull her into a kiss so passionate it would take her breath away. Instead, she forced her gaze elsewhere and stepped into the room, pushing her true feelings back into their box.

"Have a seat." Buffy said indicating towards the bed.

She sat down, tossing the ipod next to her as the blonde placed her wine glass on the bedside table nearest to her, before sitting up by the pillows. "Do you want some music on?" She asked.

"It's up to you. You're my guest." She said grinning at the dark slayer.

"Your bedroom guest. People will talk B."

"Let them." She laughed.

Faith smiled. She felt so on edge yet at the same time incredibly calm. It was unusual to feel devoid of anxiety or pain, yet somehow Buffy made her mind quieter, even if her heart was beating wildly along with her libido.

"You can put the music on if you like. I'd love to hear more of your playlist."

"Sure."

Faith stood and attached the player to the stereo, and adjusted the volume to match the mood of the room.

"What do you normally listen to B?" She asked sitting back down.

"Anything that takes my fancy really. I'm what you'd call an eclectic girl." She smiled.

"I get that. I have playlists for every mood possible."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I have like a workout mix, a driving mix, even a sleep mix. I guess I'm a geek with my music, huh?" She grinned.

"I think it's cute." Buffy said, coyly.

"You're too kind, but thanks." She got up and headed for drink, taking a long taste before sitting back down, nearer to Buffy this time.

"I meant to say, this wine is gorgeous."

"Yeah? Well I asked for help in the store, so I guess she picked well for me."

"You'll have to go in and thank her." Buffy said.

"And pick up a few more bottles while I'm there!" She laughed.

"Well off course. It would be rude not too." She grinned back. "Feel free to kick your boots off and get comfy."

Faith shifted awkwardly, before unlacing her footwear and carefully placing them by the bed. Turning she settled back down against the headboard next to Buffy. She could feel her heart racing as she did so. This moment felt more intimate than anything else she had experienced, even sex. After all, that had never meant the same as intimacy to her. This feeling here, tonight, sat next to the woman she knew she loved, on her bed with wine, music and candles felt like a dream; a wonderful dream that she never wanted to wake up from.

She glanced across at Buffy, who was smiling at her. She noticed she had kicked off her heels, as they lay clumsily by her side on the floor.

"I'm glad you're here Faith."

"Well you're quite persuasive B." She smiled.

"I told you that I didn't want you to do anything you didn't want to." She said, nervously.

"No, no, I'm fine. I want to be here…really." The dark slayer added quickly, wanting to reassure her.

"I'm glad, because…well, I hope I didn't scare you downstairs. I just needed you to know that I care, that I want to be there for you."

Buffy reached for her wine, distracting herself quickly as she uttered her honesty into the candlelit room.

"I know B." Came the soft reply, that made her heart melt.

Several songs went by, both slayers happily talked and drank wine. Faith had gone downstairs for another bottle and some water and returned to find Buffy stood struggling with her dress.

"Can you help me with the zip? I want to get more comfy, if you don't mind that is?" She said turning to check with the brunette.

"No…I…You can…whatever, of course. Sure." Faith replied, feeling stupid at her inability to string together a coherent sentence at the prospect of helping the blonde undress.

"Thanks." She smiled pleased with the reaction she was having on her.

Buffy turned and held her hair over her shoulder to allow the dark slayer to unzip her.

Faith gulped at the simple gesture and took a few steps forward. Carefully she reached her hand out until her fingers made contact with the zip. Slowly she eased it down, allowing the back of her finger to travel the length of the blonde's back, the light caress sending a wave of desire through her.

Buffy's breathing became ragged at the slow torturous touch that was running down her spine. Her body shuddered and her knees felt weak as she closed her eyes, and bit her lip, but it wasn't enough to stop a small moan escaping.

Faith looked up as the sound emanated from the older slayer. Her body ached and her groin was on fire. If this were any other girl she would be fucking her by now, because her need was so great. But this was Buffy Summers. She deserved better. It had to be better. Not just this moment; a moment that she could regret; a moment that would leave the dark slayer lost and alone again.

She swallowed hard before speaking.

"There you go B." She whispered, allowing herself the one pleasure of letting her words fall so close onto the blonde's neck she could see the goose bumps forming under her lips. She closed her eyes and inhaled her scent, resisting leaning in to kiss her soft skin.

Buffy shuddered feeling the wetness between her legs. She stood trying to retain her balance as she felt Faith step away from her. Opening her eyes, she refocused on the room around her, trying to speak.

"Thank you." She managed to say, before turning to face those brown eyes wanting nothing more than to drop her dress to the floor, close the gap between them and force Faith's hand down the front of her panties.

"I'll leave you to get changed in peace B." The dark slayer said, before Buffy had a chance to move. She walked to the door and stood in the doorway smiling before adding, "You looked beautiful tonight. Stunning in fact."

Buffy stood motionless, her hands holding her dress tightly to her chest to keep it up.

"I'll be right back."

With that Faith closed the door and left the blonde slayer alone in her bedroom breathing heavily.

After a couple of minutes of staring at the place where the brunette had stood she allowed the dress to fall to the floor and made her way into the bathroom, locking it behind her.

She clutched the edge of the sink, staring at her own reflection, this time not giving herself a pep talk, simply trying to calm her lust. It was no use. Faith had completely got to her, invaded her senses. She could still feel those long fingers running down her back.

Buffy reached down and slipped a hand inside her panties feeling the warm slickness beneath her fingertips. God she was so wet and on the edge. She started to circle her clit with strong motions, her eyes shut tight as she imagined Faith pressed up behind her, grinding into her ass. She increased the pressure and speed, her body pulsing under her touch as she felt her orgasm begin. It surged out of her with such force that she had to clamp her free hand over her mouth to stop her screaming out in pleasure. The wave hit her, as her hips bucked wildly against her own fingers. She'd never cum so quickly before. She'd needed that fast release though to calm her raging desire.

Calming her breathing she opened her eyes and recognised the 'just been fucked look' written all over her face. That and the flushed complexion would give her away for sure. "Shit!" She uttered, as she splashed water on her cheeks and washed her hands. Stepping out of her wet underwear she opened the door, checked the room and quickly slipped into another pair, before removing her bra and easing herself into a delicate white satin cami. After checking her hair, she lay back down on the bed and waited, trying to ignore the throbbing between her legs.

Faith had taken the opportunity to change also. Not wanting to leave Buffy underdressed she'd opted for a vest and her favourite pair of grey cotton pyjama pants. She felt scared at the prospect of staying with the blonde again but she had promised to try and let her in. She needed to try.

Making her way back upstairs she calmed her breathing and tried to feel relaxed and casual, but on opening the door she struggled to do anything other than stare at the gorgeous body that lay on the bed smiling at her.

"Cat got your tongue." Buffy said, propped up on one hand, staring across the room with a wicked grin on her lips, still riding high from her orgasm.

"I, er…I…yeah, I think it has." Faith replied, trying to smile rather than drool, but she could smell arousal and her mind raced.

"You look more comfy." The blonde continued playfully.

"Comfy, yeah." Her eyes still soaking in all the contours of Buffy's lithe body.

"Cute PJ's!" She giggled.

"Yeah."

"Faith?" She paused, enjoying the feel of those deep dark eyes caressing her. "Faith?"

The dark slayer, looked up suddenly, registering how long she had been admiring the blonde and felt her cheeks burning.

"Why don't you come sit back down?"

Faith returned to her spot on the bed, on autopilot, purposefully avoiding Buffy's gaze, or any other part of Buffy for that matter. She reached for her wine and drank half a glass, before trying to change the subject.

"You er, you like any of these songs then? I can put some onto a CD for you if you like?" She said, trying to keep her voice light.

"I like them all actually. You have a really good collection."

"Cool. Cool." She replied, feeling anything but.

"I really like this one actually. It came on during dinner too."

Faith listened to the lyrics acutely aware of Buffy's eyes on her as the music played.

_Now you know how I feel and I won't back down_

_Prick your finger on a spinning wheel  
>But don't make a sound<br>A drop of blood and now you're taken  
>For all time<br>With a kiss you will awaken  
>And you'll be mine<em>

_You'll be mine_

_You'll be mine_

_I could always stay and work it out  
>Wondering if you still wanted me<br>But there are so many things to doubt  
>Think that for a moment you were mine<br>I know that you saw what we could be  
>But then you went and changed your mind<br>Now you know _how I feel and I won't back down. 

"Who is it?" Buffy said, breaking the moment.

"Er, it's er by The Pierces and it's called, You'll Be Mine." She said, as the chorus repeated.

"I like it a lot. I think the lyrics are beautiful. You can imagine the singer putting a spell on the one she loves like a fairy tale or something."

"Yeah, you can." She smiled, picturing the image in her mind.

"But then love is like magic isn't it." The blonde slayer added, almost dreamily.

"In what way?" She replied, looking across at Buffy.

"Well it's like something has hold of your heart and you don't own it anymore, like there's a string pulling you towards that person that can't be cut or broken. Like a spell has been cast over you because all you can do is think of that person and it's come from nowhere, yet it feels like it's always been there, and maybe it has, but now it has hold of you nothing can stop it. You know?"

She held her gaze and waited for a response, her pulse racing in her ears.

"I don't know."

"You don't agree you mean?" Buffy said, shifting her position slightly.

"I agree I just mean that I've never actually shared that with someone. Mutually. Not like you have with Angel I mean." She glanced away, a sadness in her chest.

"I didn't mean with…" Buffy stopped herself completing that sentence with full disclosure, not wanting to screw the moment up. "I didn't have that connection with Angel, Faith. Sure, it felt like something was pulling us together but it had more to do with the job of slaying and understanding my place in the world. It was never easy being with him. There was always something else there in the background between us. And then after that night, when he changed." She sighed; her memories flooding back to her. "It was never the same."

"After you'd made love you mean?" Faith said, trying to hide the jealousy from her voice.

Buffy turned and met her gaze.

"We didn't…" She stopped herself, thinking of the right words to use. "We didn't actually do, that." She continued, feeling her cheeks redden. "Vampires can't, you know, do that because they don't have a blood flow to their, well you know." She laughed, trying to sound casual about it.

"Oh, right, I see." Faith replied pleased at the admission that had passed from Buffy's lips. She didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable though.

"So anyway." The blonde continued, "We had something and then that night we, well he did something to me and it made him happy. There that's it! All out in the open! God I'm so embarrassed." She said, putting her hands over her face and laughing to herself.

"It's ok B." Faith said reassuringly. "I won't say anything to anyone."

"But what you must think of me." She sighed.

"I don't think anything of you, really. So you had some fun with the man you love."

"I don't think it was love." Buffy said from behind her hands.

"No?"

"No." She answered, rolling back onto her side to face the brunette.

"It felt like it was, you know, at the time and in the moment, and I enjoyed the…the…"

"Sex?" Faith added, helping her out a little,

"Yes, well the touching, you know, but I didn't…you know."

"I think I do yes." She replied, avoiding the words to spare her any further embarrassment.

"But he thought I had, and that gave him his moment of happiness. Then all hell broke lose and you know the rest. I just let people think they know the story. It's easier sometimes to do that."

"It is yes. I…I do that too." Faith said, feeling she should let Buffy know she wasn't alone.

"You do?"

"Many times."

"Can I ask?" She replied tentatively.

"I let people think I'm tough, I let them believe what they want about my past and about my choices, I let women think I'm interested in them just so I can fuck them. So no B, you're not the only one." She didn't feel proud of her answer but the honesty that she had shown Buffy surprised her.

"I don't think you're tough Faith, well except when you're slaying of course and then you're incredible." Her breath caught in her throat at the visual picture of the dark slayer in action, her muscles rippling. "But I know you to be kind and tender, deep and intelligent, strong but gentle. I'm lucky to see other sides to you, because you're showing them to me. As for your past." She continued, holding her gaze. "I stopped making assumptions when I first got to know you. I figured you'd tell me if you wanted to. That's what I still believe. It's your story to tell, no one else's. Choices? Well I've made some terrible ones, so you're not alone there either. I chose to abandon you when you needed me the most. That was the wrong decision; a bad choice that led to worse consequences. We can't alter what's been, only affect what's yet to come." She smiled at Faith, wanting to feel her warmth and hear her apology again, that she so desperately felt. "As for lying to women, to well…you know…" She blushed again, glad of the candlelight to hide her face, "I can't say I've ever done that."

Faith grinned. "I didn't think you would have B."

Buffy laughed. "Well at least I can relate to most of it."

"I'm sorry about Angel."

"What do you mean?"

"That you didn't…that you weren't able to have a full relationship with him." She said carefully.

"It doesn't bother me now. I thought it did then, but actually even during, it just didn't feel right, I wasn't connected to him."

"But you spoke about the unbreakable cord and the spell thingy." She asked.

"That's how love is but it wasn't with him." She said, her green eyes sparkling in the candlelight.

"Right." Faith replied, not wanting to push the conversation any more.

"Sorry if I've embarrassed you with my ramblings." Buffy said, smiling sheepishly.

"I've had much worse, believe me!" The dark slayer said, grinning wickedly.

"I bet you have."

"Thanks for…you know…talking to me about your…stuff…and being so honest with me. It means a lot." She said, her brown eyes intense.

"I feel I can with you."

Both slayers lay back and let the music wash over them, as they made small talk into the night. As the clock struck one, they had already fallen asleep, Buffy second, after she'd sighed and registered the contentment on the younger girls face.

She slipped her fingers between Faiths's and felt her hand instinctively tighten as she did so.


End file.
